Monday, May 3, 2010

The letting go

I'm feeling a little melancholy lately. I'm coming to grips with moving into the next phase of my life. It's gut-wrenching.

I remember when the thing I wanted most in life was to be a mom. Then I had a miscarriage and it became an obsession. And then Erin was born. And life changed in ways I could never have imagined. The world changed. Everyone else went on with their lives like everything was the same. I remember coming out of the hospital and the world looked, felt, WAS different. But everyone else was going on as if nothing had changed.

And now, what, 2 or 3 years have passed and she's graduating and going to college. I remember leaving home and going to college. Although I went home for every break and every summer while I was in college, I never lived at home again. I know our family is going to change again, and it makes me sad.

I'm thrilled with the young woman she's become. I'm excited for her and the opportunities that lie ahead for her, and the gifts she brings to the world by moving out into it on her own.

But I'm sad to lose what we've had in our house for the last 18 years. I know our family will change when she goes off to college. It won't be bad, we have our two other wonderful girls still at home. But it will not be the same. We will all miss her.

I know, I KNOW. It's not that we won't see her anymore and share lots of joy with her, and her with us. It's just change, and it's hard.

Thanks for listening :)


kristin said...

oh, it is hard to imagine this level of letting go...take care, take care.

Amy said...

thinking of you...