Friday, May 21, 2010

Warp Speed

From thisto this

in the (seemingly) blink of an eye.

Graduation done, summer begun. Heart string plucking continues!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Where are Hope and Michael when you need them?

In the late 80's, I was addicted to a t.v. show called thirtysomething. It was about a youngish (30-something) couple, Hope & Michael Steadman. They were starting a family and living a grown up life, with all their friends and the drama that goes with all that. I was twentysomething at the time, and ready to start a family of my own. . I loved the idea of becoming a grown up and still having all these friends around all the time, sharing just like in college. The Big Chill was my favorite movie during that era of my life, which had similar themes.

Anyway, Hope and Michael kind of helped me work through what being a mom of young children might be like. How I might handle things, what I might do so I could stay home more with the kids, what challenges we might meet.

My brother-in-law even told us once that we had a perfect life, just like Hope and Michael.

But the show ended while their kids were still little. I was just thinking this morning that I could use some kind of Hope & Michael sending their kids off to college about now. Not that t.v. is the best place to find mentors, but sometimes . . .

My whole point was to try to add some levity. Life is good. Thanks for the words of support Kristin & Amy!

Monday, May 3, 2010

The letting go

I'm feeling a little melancholy lately. I'm coming to grips with moving into the next phase of my life. It's gut-wrenching.

I remember when the thing I wanted most in life was to be a mom. Then I had a miscarriage and it became an obsession. And then Erin was born. And life changed in ways I could never have imagined. The world changed. Everyone else went on with their lives like everything was the same. I remember coming out of the hospital and the world looked, felt, WAS different. But everyone else was going on as if nothing had changed.

And now, what, 2 or 3 years have passed and she's graduating and going to college. I remember leaving home and going to college. Although I went home for every break and every summer while I was in college, I never lived at home again. I know our family is going to change again, and it makes me sad.

I'm thrilled with the young woman she's become. I'm excited for her and the opportunities that lie ahead for her, and the gifts she brings to the world by moving out into it on her own.

But I'm sad to lose what we've had in our house for the last 18 years. I know our family will change when she goes off to college. It won't be bad, we have our two other wonderful girls still at home. But it will not be the same. We will all miss her.

I know, I KNOW. It's not that we won't see her anymore and share lots of joy with her, and her with us. It's just change, and it's hard.

Thanks for listening :)