Saturday, October 17, 2009

My mommy doesn't feel good . . .

I can't find my socks.

I wish she would feel all better

Those were words from an ad for cold medicine when I was little, said by a sad child.

I've been sick this week, and it feels like things fall apart when I'm not up and around, making sure everything is running as it should. The dishes don't get done, lessons get missed. I don't want to be so indepenisible. I mean, I suppose if I'm being honest, on some level I do, but it feels awful to be sick and feel like your loved ones are missing out on things because of it.

The rest of my family just left for camping at our church retreat. I really wanted to go, but I just don't feel well and I don't think camping would be the thing to do. It was hard for me to watch them leave. But, I know they'll have a great time. And I'll miss them. But they'll be home before I know it.

Friday, October 2, 2009

sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.

Even though I had a great, relaxing day. Even though I love the colors and the way the sun feels on a cool fall morning.
Fall always makes me feel a little bit melancholy.

I don't think I have a real strong tendency towards depression. Thank goodness.

It might be partly because my grandma died in October and her funeral was on my birthday, probably about my 26th. That was the first time I experienced that kind of loss.
Maybe, too, it's because things are dying all around. I know all about the rebirth that comes after the winter, but the death part of it is still hard. Even though it's a beautiful, often poignant, death.
And it might be, as the years go by, the melancholy of another year past, regrets for what has or hasn't come to pass. Mixed feelings as our children grow away from us and into themselves.

All by myself . . .

Yeah, I got to spend today all by myself. Doing whatever I want. Without anyone getting impatient with me for taking too long. I don't get to do that very often. It's been nice. If it weren't so windy (and if that noisy machinery would get out from in front of my house) I'd say it's an almost perfect day! And now I get to sit at the computer if I want to, for as long as I want (well, at least until school is out :). Here's how I've spent my day.

First, I went to Meridian Market to get some gummy candy corn (Thanks to Beki :). I had to deliver a notebook to my daughter at the high school, so I was on that side of town anyway :)

Then, after breakfast and coffee with a friend, I went downtown to Metcalf Sisters Antiques to browse and I found a number of "treasures" . . .

Electronic Jumbles game for my mom . . .it might not work, BUT, it was only 10 cents. Two bright colored abacus (abacuses, abacai???) and bright rainbow placemats for my art room, a hammered aluminum tray just beause I liked how it looked and it was on sale, and some vintage postcards of places we've been. AND I ran into Megan . . .and I went there partly because she talks about the great treasures she finds there, so it was extra cool that I ran into her!

And then, after a leisurely walk through Wal-mart . . .

YUM. A Chile-Q from Lupe's. My favorite.

AND, when I got my mail I had my new FREE (well, sort of free, I had to subscribe to Knit'N Style magazine) circular Options knitting needles --they're made of rainbow colored wood. I love rainbows!

It's a good day :)