Friday, October 21, 2011

I am so bad at this

I don't know how long it's been since I posted here. A long time. Life is busy. I read a quote last night in the book I'm reading that struck a cord.

"Imagine you dream of the things you might become--maybe a doll maker or a singer or you just want to travel one way to another country and see what it's like to live there. And at some point, you notice years have gone by, years of spending your days doing these trivial things you aren't even interested in. And you wonder what happened to your dreams? What happened to the you who might have been?"

-- From "Up from the Blue" by Susan Henderson

It just made me think about life, and how fast it goes by, and wondering if you really get the things done that you wanted to, that you dreamed about when you were young.

I don't know the answer. I know that a lot of the things that have taken up my time are nothing I ever dreamed, but I love them, because they made me who I am now and they brought the people into my life that mean so much to me. And helped me appreciate the ones that were already here.

I turn 52 tomorrow. I thought of making a list of 52 things but that kind of overwhelms me right now.

I'm going to go out tonight and watch the meteor shower with my family. And tomorrow I'm doing a "painting" birthday party for a friend and her daughter, who is one of my students. I'm excited about that.

I read a blog post about a woman who, along with her children, did 35 random acts of kindness for her 35th birthday. If I'd have read it sooner I would have tried to do that. Maybe we'll do it another day.

I always used to say fall was my favorite season, and it is a beautiful season, but I've decided that it's melancholy. I don't know why, but it feels that way to me. I know when my grandma died it was fall. That was the first death that really hit me, as an adult, and made mortality real. Her funeral was on my birthday. I remember vividly the funeral home director telling us that she was a lovely corpse. Even in my grief I couldn't believe it. Do you really tell people that???? Seriously?

Random post, but at least I posted for a change!
Be well.