Friday, August 15, 2008

I can't get no . . . no no no

One day some people came to the master
and asked: How can you be happy
in a world of such impermanence,
where you cannot protect your loved ones
from harm, illness or death?
The master held up a glass and said:
Someone gave me this glass;
It holds my water admirably
and it glistens in the sunlight.
I touch it and it rings!
One day the wind
may blow it off the shelf,or my elbow
may knock it from the table.
I know this glass is already broken,
so I enjoy it -- incredibly.
~Achaan Chah Subato

Wow. I am just ending my evening so frustrated with my kids. The evening went fairly well early on and so they had a "girls night" in our living room while grandma and I watched the olympics in hers. The only rules: no yelling, no fighting, clean up your mess. Well, I had to intervene. Not one, not two, not three, but four times. Then, when I told them it was time to clean up, they started bickering, yelling and slamming doors. I told them to clean up and go straight to bed. Immediately, the two who had been bickering loudly, came and asked if they could please sleep in the same room. Ummmmm, no. This led to begging, crying, pouting, and so on. I could go on, but I won't.

Then I read this poem. Wow. I wasn't enjoying them incredibly at that moment. And it makes me think and wonder if I'm giving them what they need to be happy in their lives. Some days it seems like they are so focused on the brokenness that they can't find a way to enjoy it while it's unbroken. I wonder if I've missed something in mothering them that makes them unable to be really happy. Is it too late? Is it the way I look at life that makes them look at life that way? I think I'm a pretty optomistic, happy person, but maybe to them I'm just over protective and crabby, I don't know. I hope they know how much I love them and how much they mean to me, even when I get frustrated with them, as I was tonight. I pray that I can let them know how much they mean to me and how much I love them and that they will enjoy the glass (and life!)
. . .incredibly.


kristin said...

oh, you are singing my song.

i am weary right now from parenting a very dissatisfied child. and i am mourning that i have missed opportunties to show him joy.

your posted poem spoke to me.

thank you.

Fulmer Family Blog said...

You are a great mom! Don't forget it! I have a son that is the spitting image of me, which breaks my heart one day and fills me with pride the next. We are all doing the best we can. Our kids know we love them dearly, I don't doubt that for a moment.