My children's mother is a drunken slut

Ok, let me explain myself. I'm not really a drunken slut (anymore). No, no, really, I never was. One of my favorite lines from "Roseanne" is when Darlene asks to go somewhere or some such thing, and Roseanne says no and Darlene says "so & so's mother is letting her go" and Roseanne says . . . "So & so's mother is a drunken slut". So anytime my kids want to do something I don't want them to do I use that line. Heh. It makes me laugh and also I am a bad mom because my 8 year old now repeats that. When middle daughter was being picked up early one morning by a friend and her mom, said friend came in to pick my daughter up. It was COLD out and I said to my darling, sweet, 13 year old "PUT ON A COAT" and she replied "my friend here doesn't have a coat on" and I had to literally BITE MY TONGUE because for starters, I couldn't call her mom a drunken slut with her STANDING RIGHT THERE plus her mom was giving my kid a ride to school at 7 AM so . . . who am I to call names, right?????

I can't remember where I planned to go with this post. I had it all planned out in my head on Sunday. That just shows how this week has gone.

Youngest daughter has been sick since Monday. She got up complaining and I didn't believe her so I made her go to school. About 10 she came down to the office and I took her temp and it was 101. Oops. She's been home all week. Her fever has mostly gone but now she has a weird rash. I'm taking her in to the doc tomorrow morning.

And, now for something completely different . . .

I just thought I lost this whole post above. I'm glad I found it again. I don't have any knitting news or Kool-aid dye news but hopefully one day soon.

I will leave you with this photo of my latest FO . . . fingerless gloves I made for hubby for Christmas.

Because a promise is a promise 100%

Didn't Bambi or someone like Bambi say that? I think so but I can't find the quote anywhere. Maybe pinnochio. Some kids movie character I'm sure. Anyway, I promised (sort of), at least I put into words (to my ONE reader and commenter :) Thanks Diva :)) that I was going to post more photos of my current high-inducing activity (what does THIS say about me? I don't want to know) . . . kool-aid yarn dying. So, below you will find my latest and greatest yarn dying experiments. I switched methods after my first try. Instead of pouring the dye on, I put it in jars and "dipped" the yarn into the dye. I put the jars in a corningware dish and left the yarn ends in until I had microwaved it. Most times I would move the yarn a bit between microwaving so all areas received dye. Hopefully the photos will tell the story well enough. If you have questions though, let me know. I have a couple more photos of the wound balls of yarn, which, by the way, really changes the look of the skein. I can't find my digital camera tonight. Someone has hidden it from me. I don't know who, but trust me, when I find out . . . Let me just say that today was NOT A DAY TO MESS WITH ME. Hormones rage in an almost 50-year-old woman's body and there are certain days that it might be best to leave said woman completely alone. Today was one of those days. I'm better now (wine works wonders). Once again, I digress :) Pictures below! Enjoy the eye candy.

The dyes and the yarn, all a-ready (Colors are Strawberry, Orange, and Lemonaid with just a touch of Orange added)

This is actually after the first 2 minutes in the microwave and I've moved the skein a little to the left so there aren't any off-white parts left

Now two more minutes (or maybe 4) in the microwave . . .

The finished yarn in the sink (you can see I wasn't completely successful in getting rid of ALL the off-white parts)

Viola! The finished skein. Pre and Post ball-winding. As an aside I have to say that this dying has made me LOVE my swift and ball-winder, which work together in perfect harmony. Kind of like Ebony and Ivory (dating myself????). LOL

Kool-aid test

Tonight I dyed some yarn with kool-aid. I'd been meaning to try it for a long time. I got some handspun cream/ecru colored yarn for Christmas and I'm not much for the solid light-colored yarn. It's called Border Leicester handspun. I have no idea what that means and wonder if that makes me a yarn dummy, but oh well. We saw a booklet at Target today that was Knitting for Dummies and my sweet, darling daughter picked it up and said "hey mom, you're a dummy!". Such love.

Ok, on to the yarn dying. I'm going to post photos of the process, although I must admit that I got carried away with the process in the middle and forgot to snap photos. I got before and afters but the part where you're pouring the dye on, wrapping it in saran wrap, and microwaving it didn't get photographed.

Yarn soaking in hot water "pre" dye.

My dyes -- cherry, lemonaide, and berry burst or something like that. The third and fifth glasses of dye I didn't use.

This is the finished product (above)

Close up of the middle of the finished piece. Shows the colors a bit more true.

Close up of the bottom. I'll wind it into a ball tomorrow and photo that too. Maybe even do a swatch. It was great fun and I'm looking forward to trying again. I have another hank of the same stuff plus several of Classic Elite posh in white/off-white. Expensive yarn to do my first tries on so I opted to do this stuff.

Happy Monday!

I KNOW

I was reading one of my favorite blog today and Jane made a blog post from virtually nothing out-of-the-ordinary. Here's mine.



Write about my day!

Well, my day was a typical, very busy day at an elementary school. Lots of behavior issues, especially at lunch time, and two wet pants episodes. It was busy and the day went by quickly. Oh, lots of kids not feeling well and the secretaries were on nurse duty. Plus my own daughter smilingly wasn't feeling well for about 10 minutes. I think she just needed a hug (plus a tum(s). How do you say a singular Tums? She had a Tums? She had a Tum? I have no idea but they both sound weird.



Analyze my cat!

I have spoken of my demon cat here before I believe. He bites me, which I probably deserve. It's very annoying, though, when I'm sitting at my computer desk and he pounces on my feet over and over and jumps at my hand every time I move it. Maybe the picture below explains why he might attack me, but seriously, the clothing was not my idea.

Really, not my idea.

Tell what I had for dinner and why!
I made pizza. The reason is that I haven't menu-planned or grocery shopped for the week and that is what I had on hand. Also, I could put the dough in the bread machine and go do my after-school work and not have to worry about it for 1 1/2 hours (or so). My work took longer than I expected which explaines the "or so". Supper was at about 7:30 which is rather late but we lived through it. It was good pizza too, if I do say so myself. I put baby swiss cheese on it for added zip (my life is pitiful) and it was very tasty.

Bitch about television!

Television sucks. The only shows I like are on at 9 and it bugs me that the ones I liked the best last season, Medium and October Road, are not on anymore. I take those surveys online and they ask my age and then my favorite show. I always put Judging Amy whenever that was on. Then they took it off. Last year I put Medium on every time I took that survey. Now it's off. I think they see what 40-something women like and then say "we don't want to play up to that demographic, cancel that show". They can bite me.

Re-count a celebrity siting

Once when I was in Emporia, KS for an art therapy conference, they were filming a movie about that preacher and his secretary/girlfriend that plotted to kill their spouses. I think they killed one spouse or something, maybe both. Keith Carradine was playing the preacher and I saw him walking downtown. Also, once when I was in Aspen I was checking into the hostel, because it was all I could afford, and the guy working at the desk told me Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell just checked in to the fancy-schmancy hotel in town. I didn't really see them, but they were nearby. An aside to the preacher/secretary killers mentioned above. I was a church secretary for years so I found that story kind of amusing. Well, in a sick kind of way, but still.

Talk about my first date!

I was asked to a homecoming dance in 7th grade. I was immediately in love with the boy who asked me. He is now gay. I'm sure there's no correlation, right? I continued to be in love with him for at least the rest of that school year and he stomped on my heart.

Where was I born? What story did my mom tell me about it?

I was born in Des Moines, Iowa. Two things my mom told me. One is that I was supposed to be born the day before but she had a cold so they postponed my cesearean birth. So I was supposed to be slightly more of a Libra than I am. I'm currently right on the cusp, but my personality is SO very Libra. That explains it and I never thought about it til just this very minute. Also, now I can't remember what the second thing I was going to say about my birth was. Oh, yes, now I remember. I didn't gain weight and had to be re-hospitalized for it. Imagine that now. It can't be true, really.

What was my first pet's name?

My first pet's name was Princess Anne mylastname. I loved her and she loved me. One Christmas she ate my dad's present on Christmas eve, candy I had made in Bluebirds for him. It was wrapped with tissue paper in a margerine container with no lid. She ate every bite. I was very sad. But the shiny silver aluminum Christmas tree, with 4-color rotating light helped me forget my sadness. We really had one of those. It was awesome. It went well with the cardboard fireplace.

I'm Listening. Shut up!

I actually heard a woman say that to her kids at the store. I laughed out loud and had to quickly move to another aisle so she wouldn't know I was laughing at her. I could so relate but had never been able to put it so eloquently. heh.

Well, two of our three kiddos are traipsing around the country without me. I'm having a little bit of the empty nest syndrome. You know, I'm the one who can't even leave them at camp without crying (and that's an hour from home). I did pretty good though. Left Em with my sis and got just a little verklempt (sp?) but didn't out-and-out cry. Then, this AM, left Er at the airport and got a little MORE that V word, but held it together til I was on my way to the car. They both made it to their respective destinations without any problems, so that is a relief. Now I can spend the week worrying about everything else that might happen to them. I'd better make a list so I don't forget anything. Er is in California!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEK. The scary, west-coast, crime ridden, earthquake prone California. Well, I know she'll be fine and have a great time. I just think she'd have a better time with me there, right beside her, holding her hand and wiping her face off with my wet thumb. Right? Don't you agree? It's a joke, really it is. I know better.

I'll be a little crazy this week but I'll make it through. I know these are good things for them to do. I remember going on trips and all the fun I had (I hope they don't have that much fun).

Ok I'm outta here.

Fleaaaaaaaaaaaaas Release me . . .

Yes, we have been dealing with fleas. Hopefully they are under control now and we won't all get sick from pesticides. Ick. We (translate *I*) made this shirt for that poor, poor kitty. It wasn't my idea and I was coerced. Actually, I put up with the whining about it as long as I could and then I caved. It is kinda cute, but the poor thing seems miserable when it's on him. It closes with velcro so it's not too confining. Summer is too damn busy and I'm not even working. What's up with that?? Well, working . . . hmm. Not getting paid but I'm still working, believe me. Refereeing 3 kids takes a lot out of you.

It's only been a month

This picture kills me because she threw her baton up to catch it, in true baton twirler girl fashion. Note that she is hiding from it as it falls toward her head. LOL. I have some photos of her actually catching the thrown baton, but th is one was so much better. Note the machine thingy behind her. Is that a back-hoe? I'm not really sure. But it's some machine that is used to make an egress window, which is being made for us. Yippeee. DD #1 will move to the basement room with the egress window and DH & I will get to move above ground. It takes so little to excite me. But I digress about egress. Hehehe. I've been just waiting to say that.

There is an elementary art teacher job opening at the school I work!?!?!? (Edited to remove REALLY BAD GRAMMAR . . .and I want to be a school teacher. Shame on me) ACK. I applied for it, thinking I could get a provisional license but now I'm not so sure. I guess I will check into getting my 8 hours of course work done RIGHT NOW and then if they want to hire me, I think there is a 1 year license I could get. IF they want to hire me. I would love to get that job, for many reasons. Money is a big one, but also that is what I studied to do. I am nervous at the prospect but also really excited. I've always wanted to teach elementary art. Ah, we shall see. Send good thoughts my way, devoted readers (hahahahaha).

Summer is awesome. That would be another plus to a teaching job. What I'm doing now (teacher aide) is great because any time there is no school I am home. I love it, and am really loving this summer vacation. The main detractor is the pay, and that would be a big plus if I got the teaching job.

Ok enough about me. Oh heck, what else is there to talk about? More me tomorrow at 5,6, & 10.