I'm not ready

We had a wonderful Christmas. Really. And now I am totally freaking out. I am realizing that it's once again time for the letting go to begin. And I'm not ready. This time as parents of children who live with you goes too fast. There's no other way to put it. Next year at this time we will have two children living at college and not living with us except at holidays.

To put it lightly, I'm freaking out. Not outwardly. And I'll be fine. We'll all be fine. It's what we do these years of parenting for.

But trust me, it's not easy. I don't want to let go.

So Merry Christmas to all, or whatever holiday you might celebrate during this time of year when light is hard to come by (although here in Kansas we have had beautiful sunlight to balance out the dark nights). I understand and appreciate the many, many blessings in my life. And I know that in the big picture this letting go is easy compared to what many mother's deal with daily. But that doesn't make it any less gut-wrenching for me.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.