My own version

It's summer!!! I know, not officially on-the-calendar summer, but it's summer at my house. Oh boy, is it ever. Haha. Big family meeting last night, beginning our new summer bucket list and committing to try to be more loving to each other. We used to have weekly "family nights" where we intentionally spent time together doing something fun as well as checking in. I am going to lobby for re-starting those weekly times. Although there were tense moments in our meeting last night, I think all of us (or at least most of us) saw the value in really talking to each other and keeping the conversation going, even when we didn't agree. We also used to do a nightly "high/low" which then became "high/low/ha" where we checked in daily about what the high and low of our day had been. We added the ha to share something that made us laugh. I am also going to lobby to restart that too. The kids tired of it, but I have to admit that I never did. I enjoyed that nightly check-in, recognizing the blessed and the broken in our day, superficial or deep.


My other inspiration is to do something creative every day. I know lots of blogs have done this very same thing, but I really want to do it. I seem to not be very good at sticking with something like that, but I thought to myself that maybe I would be more stick-withitish if I was doing it myself. So let's see. Want to join me? I'm gonna call it BAM (Beth and Me -- good grammar, right?). Put the button on your blog. It's right here and on my sidebar. I'm going to try to blog DAILY about my BAM activity and would love you to do it too. You can do the same thing I'm doing, or your own creative endeavor. Please leave a comment with a link to your blog so I, and anyone else who reads here, can follow your creative work too! Enjoy!

Update

I am feeling completely random and dis-jointed. My mind whirs with what still needs to be done in the next 2 weeks. For starters, I have 2 more kiln firings to fit in. That takes all day, plus the loading and unloading. Sometimes a whole day plus an hour or two. The results are so much fun though. And the excitement at seeing the results! Opening the kiln is exciting for me, and presenting the finished products to the artists is exciting for them (and me too!)!

I have big plans for the summer. I seem to always have big plans, but they don't always come to fruition (big word -- sounds intelligent, huh?)*. We shall see.

*When my sister went to college, I was in 6th grade. I was a goofy kid (See photo above. Yes, that is me with the pixie hair cut and the psycho smile). I wrote really goofy letters to her, and to my brother when he went to the Navy. They included "Super Beth Adventures" as well as lots of silly repeated phrases, such as "Hardy Har Har"; "Rain shore will do the corn good, pa. Yup" and "sounds intelligent, huh?" Maybe one day I will reward my faithful readers with a real, honest-to-goodness Super Beth Adventure!

Ok, I got kind of distracted with all the goofy kid super Beth stuff. So, there you have it. Stay posted here for any great summer feats!!!

Random Sunday night

Seems like I'm always tired. So looking forward to next week and a break from the routine. Once I felt like I was too tired all the time so I went to the doctor, thinking he might give me a magic pill.He said, "get more sleep!" Well. I'm sure he was/is right. I guess in a way that could be a magic pill. Or something like that.My girls and I got creative a week or so ago, making altered books. That's where you get old books no one wants and do art on and in them. You alter them. You can keep some of the words, rip pages out and restick them in, whatever. I'm teaching a class this summer on altered books, so I wanted to practice.

And this, my friends, is dinner by candlelight. The electricity went off one night, and stayed off for 15-20 minutes. Long enough to wonder if it would be coming back on. So we dealt with it. And it came back on!

Peace?

I've started a habit of taking a little notebook to church with me on Sundays. Sometimes I draw pictures, write notes to my kids, make lists. Lately I've been jotting down things that jump out at me during worship -- words or phrases that I find meaningful. And then I add little pictures. This past Sunday I wrote the following, four full pages, written rapid fire. I'm thinking I carried some baggage with me to church Sunday. What do you think?

I can't seem to be at peace, even in my own home. If we can't even be peaceful, at peace, with those we live in community with, those we love, how can we (I) expect peace in our larger communities? In our cities? Our country? Our world? I hold on tightly to the wish for peace in the world, but really, do my daily actions and words reflect that hope, that wish? They do not. Why do dishes affect my ability to be peaceful, be a peacemaker, show love to those I love more than anything else? Dishes. Today anyway, it's dishes. And maybe rinsing out the bath tub . . . and . . . and . . . Unfortunately, on any given day, the list could go on and on. I don't love them any less, in the big picture, but in the moment maybe I like them less. My reactions and interactions do not show peace or love. Then my anger turns inward. What have I done wrong? I haven't been the person I should have been, so I taught them incorrectly. I did them a huge disservice. Why wasn't I a better wife and mother? Maybe it's too late now. At least that's what my thoughts are at that moment. Then it passes. My mind gets busy with something. I forget my feelings of anger. Until next time I walk into the kitchen and find the sink full of dishes that have been there for days. And then the cycle starts all over again. I've always had an ability to forgive quickly. As a child, I remember fighting with my neighborhood friends. We would go our seperate ways, and in 15 minutes or so, I was ready to play together again. They could, and sometimes did, stay mad at me for days. If nothing else, my kids inherited that ability from me.



Dishes keep me from being a peacemaker.



Get up, do not be afraid. (these words were part of the liturgical dance and words of reassurance)

Poster Child

I never was a poster child for anything, but I think I finally am (although I'm no child, by any stretch of the imagination!). I'm the poster child for bad financial choices. Oh, maybe I'm being extreme, but in my adult life I have not made very many good ones. Financial choices, that is.

I'm working to make that better, and I am extremely committed to it. But it's hard. It's hard to say no. To myself. To my kids. But I'm doing it, and every hard answer leaves me feeling a little more on top of things. It will take time, though, and it's hard to be patient. I'm making more money right now, working a little less than full-time, than I've ever made in my life. Though we're not rolling in dough, it would make you think we might finally be doing ok, but bad choices through the lean years leave us worse off, maybe, than we were then. But, I truly feel like the choices we are making now, the changes and the committment to eliminating debt, are making us better off every day. Maybe not financially better off, right now. But mentally and spiritually better off.

Retirement looms. I never believed it when I was young and the sages told me to save my money for retirement. But it is looming ever closer. I struggle, though, when I think about "putting money away for retirement" and "planning for the future by saving in retirement funds". I think about this

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Matthew 6:25-30
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—

you of little faith?

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It makes me think I should make good choices, share what I have and forget about "planning" for the future for myself. But it's hard not to. I feel I'm doing my children a disservice if I don't "plan" for their financial future. I don't know. It's hard to figure out. I still feel good about what I'm doing to get our financial habits into a positive realm. But I wonder . . .

The Arts Matter!

We went to Topeka yesterday to protest the governor's proposed elimination of the Kansas Arts Commission. It was awesome. It was freezing. I have hope! If you live in Kansas, and want to know what you can do to try to make this NOT HAPPEN, leave me a comment and I'll send you info. There are many good video clips on the internet so you can see some of the speakers and some of the art that was there. Google "Kansas rally against cuts to Kansas Arts Commission". Here are some photos of our group (and the group at large) and the signs we made to take with us. It was really, really cold, so the girls look less than thrilled in some of the pictures. But it was a great experience! They might not understand much now, but the memory of the experience will stay with them. I hope they remember that they have a voice, and that standing up for something you feel passion about matters!

Resolve to Evolve

Ok, I always get a wee bit anxious when people start talking about New Year's Resolutions. They always seem like a good idea, but the reality of it, for me anyway, has been almost always feelings of failure. Not following through. Giving up.

I'd like to say that this year is different, and maybe I feel a little bit this way every year, but . . .

I'm an eternal optimist. My glass is almost always, without a doubt, half full.

So, here we go. To start, I'd like to give a little background. My resolutions at New Year's in a nutshell, since I became an adult living in the real world (translation: out of college).

Yr. 1 (not gonna give dates so you can figure out my real age hahaha):
Lose Weight
Exercise
Eat Better

Yr. 2
Exersise
Eat Better
Lose Weight

Yr. 3
Eat Better
Lose Weight
Exercise

Yr. 4
Manage Finances
Lose Weight
Eat Better . . .

seeing a pattern here? Some of them found some success, some years, at least for a limited amount of time.

I've learned a few things in the many years, and one of them is that none of these things are going to happen unless I'm totally and completely committed to them happening. And they take a lot of time and energy to make happen.

This year I really am working on getting a handle on my/our finances. I'm so committed to it that I started in November. I'm far enough along that I'm feeling like there really is potential to get it to work!

My other resolution is to be creative every day, or at least every week. Sure, I'm creative in my work, but I want to be creative in my home life to. I want to find creative activities that renew me, make me feel excited. I bought the book The Artist's Way at a used book store (for half price!) and think I will start doing it, and hope to form a sacred circle of friends to do it with me. Want to join me?

I also would like to use my book Organize NOW! which has a week by week plan for organization to organize my home, my work and my life. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

And, above all, I'd like to become a better person, and hope all of the above items will help me to do that. Evolve, so to speak. A kinder, gentler me. No more steam coming from my ears, throwing dishes around, yelling idiot at the driver in front of me.

So, even though I'm kind of a non-believer in New Year's Resolutions, it seems that I've made a few! I'd love to hear your plans for the year. Leave me a comment and we can encourage and pray for each other!

Happy 2011!!