Epiphany

I had an epiphany this week. I figured out that I'm a visionary! Wow, I like that word. VISIONARY - It sounds so . . .well, it just sounds so very, very 60's, doesn't it? But anyway, I have always gotten excited by ideas. Pictures, art supplies, visions of how the world could be. They excite me. Lots. But the actual putting into practice or putting pen/pencil/paintbrush to paper? I'm not so good at the action part of it. Oh, don't get me wrong. I have fair enough art skills when I actually do something. Sometimes even good. But it's the thinking, dreaming, visioning. THAT'S what gets me going. (That's why I love that bottle of glitter sitting just within my vision -- I like to pick it up, play with it, watch the little glitter pieces fall here and there when I tip the bottle. But I don't really want to use the glitter. That would defeat my purpose with it -- I want to look at it).

I figured it out while working on planning our church Christmas program. I had some great ideas, the other committee folks liked them and ran with them. While I sat and watched them run. Oh, yeah, I have some ideas, I'll send some e-mails. I just don't actually DO anything until I actually have to.

I figured out that is exactly why I love my job. It forces me into action. And I enjoy the action. I just enjoy the envisioning more :) It brought me some peace to figure all that out. I think it will be easier to let myself say no to some of the calls to action in the future. I'll be the one that dreams and plans (at least some of the time).

Art Every Day

It's Art Every Day month. I read blogs where the bloggers are doing art every day. I really wanted to sign up to do it but I tend to, well, fail when I sign up for any every day (or even once a week) thing. I have good intentions. It's just that the week starts, and I'm busy and tired and then it's Friday, and I'm just tired. How does that happen? List it Tuesday (want to do it, never make it); First Friday Contour drawing (same song, second verse); Wordless Wednesday (you're getting the picture).

I really wanted to do art every day for a month. And then I thought . . . "WAIT a minute. I already DO do art Every day (yeah, I said do do, deal with it :)." Ok, so maybe it's not me choosing what art *I* want to do every day, but I am doing art every day. So I decided that counts. Sometimes it may be drawing a guided drawing of a mouse 3 times in one day, two days in a row. But it's art. And it's not handprint turkeys!

Ok, no offense to anyone doing handprint turkeys. I like them, and they have their place. It's just not in the art room. I had a student say to me after school today, "Mrs. Burns, I have an idea for what we can do NEXT week in art -- handprint turkeys!!!" And I responded very diplomatically, "yes, we could" (meaning, no we will not). I also really like the pumpkins with popsicle stick/construction paper feathers, but it's not really an art project. I love crafts (but . . .not in the art room, usually).

I feel like I'm ranting about whatever pops into my head. I did have a theme when I started though (it's Friday, see paragraph one). I'm working on a poem about gift giving. Watch this space for it's debut.

List it Tuesday on Saturday

Busy week. Started this on Tuesday (see my list it Tuesday link to the right). I was going to do our summer bucket list and things we did/didn't get done. Now I think I'll make a list of all the things we, as a family, had going on this week. Some are every week things, some were extra.

Monday:

*Volleyball game

*choir practice

*choir board meeting (when I said I'd do publicity I said no regular meetings, but I went this week)

Tuesday:
*Ellie home sick, left work early to take her to the doctor

*College basketball scrimmage -- first time to watch Erin play as a college girl

Wednesday:
*Wednesday night supper at church

*Out for cocoa with my mentee

Thursday:

*Classroom Instruction training after school (until 5:30)

*Choir practice (at 6:30)

*Orchestra concert (at 6:30)

*No one fixing supper yet when I got home at 5:45

Friday

*My birthday

*Called in to sub for 2nd grade (and a small time in Kindergarten during my "break")

*No lunch because of mean lunch ladies

*Birthday dinner with friends (awesomely nice)

*Birthday present with my family (college girl joined us, also awesomely nice)

So, it was very busy and full, but many, if not all, of the extra activities were enjoyable and added happily. Just not many free moments.

And I need to get grades done this weekend. And we're going camping with our church.

Next week maybe my list will be the bucket list.

A list

I like bloggers that share lists about themselves. Little known things about them, or maybe not so little known. Just kind of what makes them tick. So here goes.

1. I hate saying goodbye. Every time I have to say farewell to someone I cry. Even if it's for a short time.

2. I tend to overthink things. I will re-think a conversation I had earlier in the day and worry that something I said was misunderstood or taken wrong. I don't often go back and check with the person to be sure this wasn't the case, but when I do, almost 100% of the time, people tell me they didn't misunderstand or take it wrong.

3. I joke around a lot, but people don't always get that I'm joking. I hate it when I have to explain "that was a joke."

4. I got slapped by a teacher once when I was standing outside the school waiting to go in one morning. She wasn't my teacher, and I hadn't said anything wrong. I have no idea why she slapped me.

5. No one ever wanted me on their team in gym class when the teacher chose "captain's" who then got to choose their team. I really was the last one chosen, every time.

6. I hated gym class.

7. I also got shaken by my first grade teacher for going to the pencil sharpener with my friend Ann. The teacher had just told us NOT TO GET OUT OF OUR SEATS. Ann asked me to go sharpen her pencil with her and I said yes. I think teachers would be in big trouble if they did that to a kid now.

8. I dyed my hair green once when I was in college. It was clash day during homecoming week. I wore a purple shirt and my green hair clashed with it. I used food coloring and while most of it washed out the next day, my hair had a green tinge for 6 months or so.

9. I knew I wanted to be an art teacher when I was a little girl. My favorite thing to draw was a house.

10. I didn't become an art teacher until I had been out of college for 27 years.

11. I love teaching art.

12. I worked in art therapy for 13 years after college and then became a church secretary so I could be home with my kids more. I loved both of those jobs too.

13. One of the first things I remember about meeting the man who is now my husband is that he walked across campus wearing a pizza hut hat every day. I was always sitting in front of the "hippie" men's dorm with my punk rocker friend, Carolyn. We would yell "HI EVERETT" really loud at him across the lawn. He thought we were strange.

14. I also would go visit the men's dorm where he lived (the "jock" dorm). He worked at the front desk, where we had to sign in, and he often was making rice krispie treats in his popcorn popper. My friends and I would steal them.

15. I dream about living in the mountains and owning an art store where I can create while tourists go through my shop.

16. Part of what I like about the idea of living in the mountains is being snowed in during the winter.

17. I love playing Pictionary and I don't think it has anything to do with being an artist. I think it has to do with being in tune with your Pictionary partner. Everett and I are a Pictionary team to be reckoned with.

18. I love playing board games.

19. Once when we were camping, my friend Dawn and I were mad because our husbands had taken too long fishing. We had a new board game called "Adverteasing" so we looked at all the cards at the front of the deck. Then when the guys came back to the campsite, we kicked their hiney's. They were amazed at our Adverteasing prowess. We told them we cheated.

20. Ferris wheels and roller coasters are my favorite carnival rides.

21. Once I was riding the swings at the Kansas State Fair. I couldn't get the safety belt hooked and the carnival guy came around and asked me "what's wrong with you, are you from Iowa?" And I am!

That's enough for now. Tomorrow we take our oldest to college. I feel kind of sick (see #1).

Routine

Ready. for. routine. again.

Summer is awesome. I love summer and the break. And I'm so thankful for the break we all get.

But I'm so so so so so so ready for a routine again in my house. I love my 9 o'clock tv time every night. Hubby and I watch grown-up shows. Kids are in bed or at grandmas and are ate least getting ready for bed by then.

I'm such a slacker in the summer. No regular bedtimes (except for me and Everett). I'm ready for regular bedtimes again, and for life to get back into a routine.

We've had lots going on. Two birthdays (16 & 18! WOW!), two plays, mall night, camps, houseguest and more). So much I could blog about.

And heat. Oh yeah. Ready for a break from that too!

Better

That was a pretty dark depressing post, wasn't it? Life is really not that bad. It can feel bad sometimes. I've been finding great meaning in something a fellow blogger friend wrote in her blog recently (Or maybe reposted from an earlier date). She wrote " i was reminded again of what seems to be my basic faith: god is good, horrors happen, god is still good."

*Photo stolen from my daughter. And reminds me of a favorite poem by Susan Polis Schutz. I was going to put it here, but I can't find it. Maybe later :)

Happy days!

The Scream

I've been feeling a little like this lately:

"I was out walking with two friends - the sun began to set - suddenly the sky turned blood-red - I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on a fence - there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city - my friends walked on, and there I still stood, trembling with fear - and I sensed an endless scream passing through nature." - Edvard Munch (inspiration for his painting The Scream).

Well, not quite like that, but kind of.

Sad things in the world and anxiety at home have been weighing me down.

But it's getting better.

I bought a little notebook and am keeping a gratitude journal. I'm having daily words e-mailed to me from gratefulness.org. My life is good. I have many blessings. Many, many blessings.

I need to let myself be sad sometimes too. I think I feel like I shouldn't be sad because other people's happiness is my responsibility. Sometimes it's too much responsibility.

I'm better now though, really.