From the faraway nearby

That's so random

2012-01-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

This makes me happy. I could just look and look and look at things like this. Do you know what it is?

Ellie used my glitter, which was also something that I could just look at and be happy.

That's probably a good thing. It was wasteful to just have it and not use it. But I liked looking at it. It made me happy.

My new watch makes me happy too. It's hard to see here, but the little circles are swarovski crystals. It's like magic. I don't understand at all how it works. But it makes me happy.

That's all I need to be happy. This glitter and this watch. That's all I need. I don't need one more thing.

I need this! (Name that movie and I'll give you a sticker).

Ok, enough whining

2012-01-05T15:08:00.001-08:00

Or whinging as my New Zealand friend says.

It's a new year. I've made resolutions. Of course, I want to be healthier. If that includes losing weight, that's awesome. I do want to exercise more often, but that was something I wanted to do way before the new year. Hopefully I will get it done though.

My main resolutions are to:

1) Make more art. I don't mean crafty stuff -- I do plenty of that, and I love it -- my knitting keeps me sane, but I mean real art -- drawing, painting, collage, etc.

2) Be a nicer person inside my head, and inside my car. I tend to call other drivers IDIOT quite often. I was trying to be kind to everyone before Christmas, and I let people in front of my several times at the Walmart parking lot, but I also ended up calling several of them IDIOT. My mom said that undid my good deed. She's probably right. I'm going to try being nicer on the inside this year. I think my outside self is pretty nice to pretty much everyone, but I'm not always nice inside my head or my heart. I want to be.

That's it for now. I have lots of things I want to do with my life. Be more organized, make long term lesson plans, de-clutter my house. But they are way too much to think of all at once!!!

I'm not ready

2011-12-25T20:41:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas. Really. And now I am totally freaking out. I am realizing that it's once again time for the letting go to begin. And I'm not ready. This time as parents of children who live with you goes too fast. There's no other way to put it. Next year at this time we will have two children living at college and not living with us except at holidays.

To put it lightly, I'm freaking out. Not outwardly. And I'll be fine. We'll all be fine. It's what we do these years of parenting for.

But trust me, it's not easy. I don't want to let go.

So Merry Christmas to all, or whatever holiday you might celebrate during this time of year when light is hard to come by (although here in Kansas we have had beautiful sunlight to balance out the dark nights). I understand and appreciate the many, many blessings in my life. And I know that in the big picture this letting go is easy compared to what many mother's deal with daily. But that doesn't make it any less gut-wrenching for me.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.

I am so bad at this

2011-10-21T20:48:00.001-07:00

I don't know how long it's been since I posted here. A long time. Life is busy. I read a quote last night in the book I'm reading that struck a cord.

"Imagine you dream of the things you might become--maybe a doll maker or a singer or you just want to travel one way to another country and see what it's like to live there. And at some point, you notice years have gone by, years of spending your days doing these trivial things you aren't even interested in. And you wonder what happened to your dreams? What happened to the you who might have been?"

-- From "Up from the Blue" by Susan Henderson

It just made me think about life, and how fast it goes by, and wondering if you really get the things done that you wanted to, that you dreamed about when you were young.

I don't know the answer. I know that a lot of the things that have taken up my time are nothing I ever dreamed, but I love them, because they made me who I am now and they brought the people into my life that mean so much to me. And helped me appreciate the ones that were already here.

I turn 52 tomorrow. I thought of making a list of 52 things but that kind of overwhelms me right now.

I'm going to go out tonight and watch the meteor shower with my family. And tomorrow I'm doing a "painting" birthday party for a friend and her daughter, who is one of my students. I'm excited about that.

I read a blog post about a woman who, along with her children, did 35 random acts of kindness for her 35th birthday. If I'd have read it sooner I would have tried to do that. Maybe we'll do it another day.

I always used to say fall was my favorite season, and it is a beautiful season, but I've decided that it's melancholy. I don't know why, but it feels that way to me. I know when my grandma died it was fall. That was the first death that really hit me, as an adult, and made mortality real. Her funeral was on my birthday. I remember vividly the funeral home director telling us that she was a lovely corpse. Even in my grief I couldn't believe it. Do you really tell people that???? Seriously?

Random post, but at least I posted for a change!
Be well.

On reading and sexism

2011-07-19T05:52:00.000-07:00

I pride myself in being a pretty tolerant person. While I have my days (just ask my family) when people of the world get on my nerves, most of the time, I accept people where they are. I'm not one that has prejudices against others just because they are different from me. And if I identify a prejudice that I am harboring, I try to change it in myself. That being said, I pretty much refuse to read books written by men. Oh, ocassionally I will read a book by the likes of Thomas Merton, but when I choose books to read for pleasure, they are exclusively by women. So much so that I won't even look at books by men. Another thing about how I choose books, though, is that I have to like the cover. You know that adage "don't judge a book by it's cover?" Not true, for me, when choosing reading material. Cover is important. I believe in not judging people by their "cover" aka first impressions, etc., but when it comes to books? Well, forget it. I am drawn to interesting book covers. By women. I did read a book by a man recently, and liked it immensely. Hotel at the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford. Doesn't that title just make you want to read it? And it has a pretty cover too. I'm thinking he must write like a woman.

Remembering

2011-07-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning yesterday and came across a paper copy of the sharing I did during worship (I wouldn't call it a sermon, because, well . . . I just wouldn't), when I left my job at the church. It brought back such memories of my work there, the joys and challenges.
I loved that job, and the interactions I had with our church community and the larger community as well. I spent a lot of time on the phone and in person with people in need in our community, and it was a part of the job that was most challenging and most rewarding at the same time. Sometimes we couldn't help, and that was hard. I was often the one who had to say no. I remember vividly calling a woman back to tell her we couldn't help her. She was in a dire situation and I had cried along with her when she initially called. I took her plight to the pastors, even though I knew our funds had been depleted for the month. When I called her back to tell her we couldn't help, she thanked me. Thanked me, even though I was the bearer of bad news. She appreciated so much that I had taken the time to call back.
I was humbled by the appreciation expressed when giving out groceries. People were surprised when we said they could take what they needed from our grocery cupboards, no limits, just take what you need. I think people in need are so used to restrictions, that when there aren't any, it's such a nice surprise. Also, when we gave our garage sale "leftovers" to the women at the domestic violence safe-house. These were the things we didn't want and also the things no one who came to our garage sale wanted. The dregs, essentially. But these women were so thankful to have them. Most of them were starting over, and needed everything for their new homes. Very humbling.
My experiences in that job made me a better person. I hope as I get farther away from it I don't lose that growth. I hope I continue to be a light-bearer to those I meet. I know I'm not always, I can come up with many times just off the top of my head that I haven't been. But I hope more times than not I am. And I hope I can always see the light in those I meet. I pray for that.

Sending them out . . .pulling them closer (when I can)

2011-07-03T09:19:00.001-07:00

This summer has been a series of sending my children out into the world, and pulling them close when I can. It's what you do all the years of parenting for, but it isn't easy.

Our oldest went to Texas/New Mexico for 5 weeks. I know we are spoiled by having her in college right up the street. It's not that we (the parental units, anyway) see her that often. But we, and she, know we are only 5 minutes away, should we need each other for some reason. Of course we need each other, but in case we need direct contact. Having her 16 hours away was a new experience for all of us. She was homesick and we missed her. But we all grew through the experience.

12 hours after her return, our middle daughter left on the train for a week in Pittsburgh with our youth group. She was surrounded by people who love and care for her, but she was still going out into the world without us. After sitting at the train station for 45 minutes or so, she said "why are you still here?". It was 3:30 AM by that time, so we said our good-byes and left. She will be home before we know it. I know that's true, but I still miss her already!

In both of these letting gos, I have held it together, no crying. That's not normal for me. I used to cry leaving them at camp. As hard as it is for me to believe I can hold it together, I think it must be a natural step in parenthood. If I continued to cry every time they left me, I would be a basketcase. But it's weird, for sure. A new normal, I guess, to not have all of my chicks under my wing, or at least nearby. I've had people tell me "you need to loosen the apron strings" or similar platitudes. They have no idea.

Sundays are a day of rest

2011-06-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

Actually, most days this summer, so far, have been mostly days of rest. I guess it's time to buckle down and do something productive. At our family meeting last night, we set (assigned) weekly goals. I have to admit, I assigned weekly goals to the girls. I told them they could assign me a weekly goal too, if they wanted, but I assigned myself one as well. Next week, summer art classes start, then I cook at camp for a week, then more art classes . . . . I just know we will start being busy and get less done around the house.

I really love the change of pace that summer gives us. I feel spoiled by it, and am so thankful.
I've continued my creative endeavors, but I took yesterday off, so I decided that I might not do the creative stuff on Sundays. But I might. We'll see.

I don't think I've updated lately, though, in what I've created, so here you go. Friday we created food -- egg rolls and chicken fried rice -- which we'd never made before. It was yummy but time intensive. We'll do it again sometime and will get better at it as we go, I'm sure. I linked the names of what we cooked to the recipes in case you want to try them. I did change them up a bit, used chicken instead of pork for the egg rolls, added pea pods cut up and left out peppers and celery. But I mostly followed the directions!

Saturday I created polymer covered Christmas ornaments to sell at the auction at church, to support our youth's trip to Pennsylvania this summer.

Now, off to be productive, hopefully. Praying for motivation!

Zentangle Haikus BAM!

2011-06-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

Better light for my previous project -- these colors are more true (thanks sun!).

Last night Emma & I did Zentangle Haikus, an idea that was inspired by this (thanks artsyville!). Zentangles explained here. Can you guess which ones are mine and which ones are Emma's?
Someone stole my pen!

One view of summer . . .
Someone has a birthday coming up (and needs some cash!)
Another view of summer . . .

Someone might say "bite me" a little more than they should . . .

BAM!

2011-06-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

Day 1

Scrapbook paper cover for Ellie's violin book.

Day 2:

Polymer clay covered objects. I used Fimo -- the colors are not very true. I might try a new pic in natural light today. I made a Klimt cane with my extruder (my fave thing to do -- google it) and then covered an Altoids container and two glass bottles. I tried a new method -- rolling out a big flat piece and then laying slices of my cane on top and running the whole thing through the pasta machine again. I've been unhappy with how bumpy my objects turn out when laying the cane on in pieces and then pushing them together with my fingers. I did that method on the middle jar. I liked it, but I wasn't completely crazy about how it flattened and biggened the design. I may experiment with that more later. Post your creative activites and leave me a comment about them! BAM!

My own version

2011-05-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

It's summer!!! I know, not officially on-the-calendar summer, but it's summer at my house. Oh boy, is it ever. Haha. Big family meeting last night, beginning our new summer bucket list and committing to try to be more loving to each other. We used to have weekly "family nights" where we intentionally spent time together doing something fun as well as checking in. I am going to lobby for re-starting those weekly times. Although there were tense moments in our meeting last night, I think all of us (or at least most of us) saw the value in really talking to each other and keeping the conversation going, even when we didn't agree. We also used to do a nightly "high/low" which then became "high/low/ha" where we checked in daily about what the high and low of our day had been. We added the ha to share something that made us laugh. I am also going to lobby to restart that too. The kids tired of it, but I have to admit that I never did. I enjoyed that nightly check-in, recognizing the blessed and the broken in our day, superficial or deep.

My other inspiration is to do something creative every day. I know lots of blogs have done this very same thing, but I really want to do it. I seem to not be very good at sticking with something like that, but I thought to myself that maybe I would be more stick-withitish if I was doing it myself. So let's see. Want to join me? I'm gonna call it BAM (Beth and Me -- good grammar, right?). Put the button on your blog. It's right here and on my sidebar. I'm going to try to blog DAILY about my BAM activity and would love you to do it too. You can do the same thing I'm doing, or your own creative endeavor. Please leave a comment with a link to your blog so I, and anyone else who reads here, can follow your creative work too! Enjoy!

Update

2011-05-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

I am feeling completely random and dis-jointed. My mind whirs with what still needs to be done in the next 2 weeks. For starters, I have 2 more kiln firings to fit in. That takes all day, plus the loading and unloading. Sometimes a whole day plus an hour or two. The results are so much fun though. And the excitement at seeing the results! Opening the kiln is exciting for me, and presenting the finished products to the artists is exciting for them (and me too!)!

I have big plans for the summer. I seem to always have big plans, but they don't always come to fruition (big word -- sounds intelligent, huh?)*. We shall see.

*When my sister went to college, I was in 6th grade. I was a goofy kid (See photo above. Yes, that is me with the pixie hair cut and the psycho smile). I wrote really goofy letters to her, and to my brother when he went to the Navy. They included "Super Beth Adventures" as well as lots of silly repeated phrases, such as "Hardy Har Har"; "Rain shore will do the corn good, pa. Yup" and "sounds intelligent, huh?" Maybe one day I will reward my faithful readers with a real, honest-to-goodness Super Beth Adventure!

Ok, I got kind of distracted with all the goofy kid super Beth stuff. So, there you have it. Stay posted here for any great summer feats!!!

Random Sunday night

2011-03-13T20:21:00.001-07:00

Seems like I'm always tired. So looking forward to next week and a break from the routine. Once I felt like I was too tired all the time so I went to the doctor, thinking he might give me a magic pill.He said, "get more sleep!" Well. I'm sure he was/is right. I guess in a way that could be a magic pill. Or something like that.My girls and I got creative a week or so ago, making altered books. That's where you get old books no one wants and do art on and in them. You alter them. You can keep some of the words, rip pages out and restick them in, whatever. I'm teaching a class this summer on altered books, so I wanted to practice.

And this, my friends, is dinner by candlelight. The electricity went off one night, and stayed off for 15-20 minutes. Long enough to wonder if it would be coming back on. So we dealt with it. And it came back on!

Peace?

2011-03-10T20:42:00.001-08:00

I've started a habit of taking a little notebook to church with me on Sundays. Sometimes I draw pictures, write notes to my kids, make lists. Lately I've been jotting down things that jump out at me during worship -- words or phrases that I find meaningful. And then I add little pictures. This past Sunday I wrote the following, four full pages, written rapid fire. I'm thinking I carried some baggage with me to church Sunday. What do you think?

I can't seem to be at peace, even in my own home. If we can't even be peaceful, at peace, with those we live in community with, those we love, how can we (I) expect peace in our larger communities? In our cities? Our country? Our world? I hold on tightly to the wish for peace in the world, but really, do my daily actions and words reflect that hope, that wish? They do not. Why do dishes affect my ability to be peaceful, be a peacemaker, show love to those I love more than anything else? Dishes. Today anyway, it's dishes. And maybe rinsing out the bath tub . . . and . . . and . . . Unfortunately, on any given day, the list could go on and on. I don't love them any less, in the big picture, but in the moment maybe I like them less. My reactions and interactions do not show peace or love. Then my anger turns inward. What have I done wrong? I haven't been the person I should have been, so I taught them incorrectly. I did them a huge disservice. Why wasn't I a better wife and mother? Maybe it's too late now. At least that's what my thoughts are at that moment. Then it passes. My mind gets busy with something. I forget my feelings of anger. Until next time I walk into the kitchen and find the sink full of dishes that have been there for days. And then the cycle starts all over again. I've always had an ability to forgive quickly. As a child, I remember fighting with my neighborhood friends. We would go our seperate ways, and in 15 minutes or so, I was ready to play together again. They could, and sometimes did, stay mad at me for days. If nothing else, my kids inherited that ability from me.

Dishes keep me from being a peacemaker.

Get up, do not be afraid. (these words were part of the liturgical dance and words of reassurance)

Poster Child

2011-02-21T13:43:00.000-08:00

I never was a poster child for anything, but I think I finally am (although I'm no child, by any stretch of the imagination!). I'm the poster child for bad financial choices. Oh, maybe I'm being extreme, but in my adult life I have not made very many good ones. Financial choices, that is.

I'm working to make that better, and I am extremely committed to it. But it's hard. It's hard to say no. To myself. To my kids. But I'm doing it, and every hard answer leaves me feeling a little more on top of things. It will take time, though, and it's hard to be patient. I'm making more money right now, working a little less than full-time, than I've ever made in my life. Though we're not rolling in dough, it would make you think we might finally be doing ok, but bad choices through the lean years leave us worse off, maybe, than we were then. But, I truly feel like the choices we are making now, the changes and the committment to eliminating debt, are making us better off every day. Maybe not financially better off, right now. But mentally and spiritually better off.

Retirement looms. I never believed it when I was young and the sages told me to save my money for retirement. But it is looming ever closer. I struggle, though, when I think about "putting money away for retirement" and "planning for the future by saving in retirement funds". I think about this

-----------------------------------

Matthew 6:25-30
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—

you of little faith?

-----------------------------------

It makes me think I should make good choices, share what I have and forget about "planning" for the future for myself. But it's hard not to. I feel I'm doing my children a disservice if I don't "plan" for their financial future. I don't know. It's hard to figure out. I still feel good about what I'm doing to get our financial habits into a positive realm. But I wonder . . .

The Arts Matter!

2011-02-11T13:36:00.000-08:00

We went to Topeka yesterday to protest the governor's proposed elimination of the Kansas Arts Commission. It was awesome. It was freezing. I have hope! If you live in Kansas, and want to know what you can do to try to make this NOT HAPPEN, leave me a comment and I'll send you info. There are many good video clips on the internet so you can see some of the speakers and some of the art that was there. Google "Kansas rally against cuts to Kansas Arts Commission". Here are some photos of our group (and the group at large) and the signs we made to take with us. It was really, really cold, so the girls look less than thrilled in some of the pictures. But it was a great experience! They might not understand much now, but the memory of the experience will stay with them. I hope they remember that they have a voice, and that standing up for something you feel passion about matters!

Resolve to Evolve

2011-01-01T21:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I always get a wee bit anxious when people start talking about New Year's Resolutions. They always seem like a good idea, but the reality of it, for me anyway, has been almost always feelings of failure. Not following through. Giving up.

I'd like to say that this year is different, and maybe I feel a little bit this way every year, but . . .

I'm an eternal optimist. My glass is almost always, without a doubt, half full.

So, here we go. To start, I'd like to give a little background. My resolutions at New Year's in a nutshell, since I became an adult living in the real world (translation: out of college).

Yr. 1 (not gonna give dates so you can figure out my real age hahaha):
Lose Weight
Exercise
Eat Better

Yr. 2
Exersise
Eat Better
Lose Weight

Yr. 3
Eat Better
Lose Weight
Exercise

Yr. 4
Manage Finances
Lose Weight
Eat Better . . .

seeing a pattern here? Some of them found some success, some years, at least for a limited amount of time.

I've learned a few things in the many years, and one of them is that none of these things are going to happen unless I'm totally and completely committed to them happening. And they take a lot of time and energy to make happen.

This year I really am working on getting a handle on my/our finances. I'm so committed to it that I started in November. I'm far enough along that I'm feeling like there really is potential to get it to work!

My other resolution is to be creative every day, or at least every week. Sure, I'm creative in my work, but I want to be creative in my home life to. I want to find creative activities that renew me, make me feel excited. I bought the book The Artist's Way at a used book store (for half price!) and think I will start doing it, and hope to form a sacred circle of friends to do it with me. Want to join me?

I also would like to use my book Organize NOW! which has a week by week plan for organization to organize my home, my work and my life. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

And, above all, I'd like to become a better person, and hope all of the above items will help me to do that. Evolve, so to speak. A kinder, gentler me. No more steam coming from my ears, throwing dishes around, yelling idiot at the driver in front of me.

So, even though I'm kind of a non-believer in New Year's Resolutions, it seems that I've made a few! I'd love to hear your plans for the year. Leave me a comment and we can encourage and pray for each other!

Happy 2011!!

Epiphany

2010-12-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

I had an epiphany this week. I figured out that I'm a visionary! Wow, I like that word. VISIONARY - It sounds so . . .well, it just sounds so very, very 60's, doesn't it? But anyway, I have always gotten excited by ideas. Pictures, art supplies, visions of how the world could be. They excite me. Lots. But the actual putting into practice or putting pen/pencil/paintbrush to paper? I'm not so good at the action part of it. Oh, don't get me wrong. I have fair enough art skills when I actually do something. Sometimes even good. But it's the thinking, dreaming, visioning. THAT'S what gets me going. (That's why I love that bottle of glitter sitting just within my vision -- I like to pick it up, play with it, watch the little glitter pieces fall here and there when I tip the bottle. But I don't really want to use the glitter. That would defeat my purpose with it -- I want to look at it).

I figured it out while working on planning our church Christmas program. I had some great ideas, the other committee folks liked them and ran with them. While I sat and watched them run. Oh, yeah, I have some ideas, I'll send some e-mails. I just don't actually DO anything until I actually have to.

I figured out that is exactly why I love my job. It forces me into action. And I enjoy the action. I just enjoy the envisioning more :) It brought me some peace to figure all that out. I think it will be easier to let myself say no to some of the calls to action in the future. I'll be the one that dreams and plans (at least some of the time).

Art Every Day

2010-11-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

It's Art Every Day month. I read blogs where the bloggers are doing art every day. I really wanted to sign up to do it but I tend to, well, fail when I sign up for any every day (or even once a week) thing. I have good intentions. It's just that the week starts, and I'm busy and tired and then it's Friday, and I'm just tired. How does that happen? List it Tuesday (want to do it, never make it); First Friday Contour drawing (same song, second verse); Wordless Wednesday (you're getting the picture).

I really wanted to do art every day for a month. And then I thought . . . "WAIT a minute. I already DO do art Every day (yeah, I said do do, deal with it :)." Ok, so maybe it's not me choosing what art *I* want to do every day, but I am doing art every day. So I decided that counts. Sometimes it may be drawing a guided drawing of a mouse 3 times in one day, two days in a row. But it's art. And it's not handprint turkeys!

Ok, no offense to anyone doing handprint turkeys. I like them, and they have their place. It's just not in the art room. I had a student say to me after school today, "Mrs. Burns, I have an idea for what we can do NEXT week in art -- handprint turkeys!!!" And I responded very diplomatically, "yes, we could" (meaning, no we will not). I also really like the pumpkins with popsicle stick/construction paper feathers, but it's not really an art project. I love crafts (but . . .not in the art room, usually).

I feel like I'm ranting about whatever pops into my head. I did have a theme when I started though (it's Friday, see paragraph one). I'm working on a poem about gift giving. Watch this space for it's debut.

List it Tuesday on Saturday

2010-10-19T20:25:00.001-07:00

Busy week. Started this on Tuesday (see my list it Tuesday link to the right). I was going to do our summer bucket list and things we did/didn't get done. Now I think I'll make a list of all the things we, as a family, had going on this week. Some are every week things, some were extra.

Monday:

*Volleyball game

*choir practice

*choir board meeting (when I said I'd do publicity I said no regular meetings, but I went this week)

Tuesday:
*Ellie home sick, left work early to take her to the doctor

*College basketball scrimmage -- first time to watch Erin play as a college girl

Wednesday:
*Wednesday night supper at church

*Out for cocoa with my mentee

Thursday:

*Classroom Instruction training after school (until 5:30)

*Choir practice (at 6:30)

*Orchestra concert (at 6:30)

*No one fixing supper yet when I got home at 5:45

Friday

*My birthday

*Called in to sub for 2nd grade (and a small time in Kindergarten during my "break")

*No lunch because of mean lunch ladies

*Birthday dinner with friends (awesomely nice)

*Birthday present with my family (college girl joined us, also awesomely nice)

So, it was very busy and full, but many, if not all, of the extra activities were enjoyable and added happily. Just not many free moments.

And I need to get grades done this weekend. And we're going camping with our church.

Next week maybe my list will be the bucket list.

A list

2010-08-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

I like bloggers that share lists about themselves. Little known things about them, or maybe not so little known. Just kind of what makes them tick. So here goes.

1. I hate saying goodbye. Every time I have to say farewell to someone I cry. Even if it's for a short time.

2. I tend to overthink things. I will re-think a conversation I had earlier in the day and worry that something I said was misunderstood or taken wrong. I don't often go back and check with the person to be sure this wasn't the case, but when I do, almost 100% of the time, people tell me they didn't misunderstand or take it wrong.

3. I joke around a lot, but people don't always get that I'm joking. I hate it when I have to explain "that was a joke."

4. I got slapped by a teacher once when I was standing outside the school waiting to go in one morning. She wasn't my teacher, and I hadn't said anything wrong. I have no idea why she slapped me.

5. No one ever wanted me on their team in gym class when the teacher chose "captain's" who then got to choose their team. I really was the last one chosen, every time.

6. I hated gym class.

7. I also got shaken by my first grade teacher for going to the pencil sharpener with my friend Ann. The teacher had just told us NOT TO GET OUT OF OUR SEATS. Ann asked me to go sharpen her pencil with her and I said yes. I think teachers would be in big trouble if they did that to a kid now.

8. I dyed my hair green once when I was in college. It was clash day during homecoming week. I wore a purple shirt and my green hair clashed with it. I used food coloring and while most of it washed out the next day, my hair had a green tinge for 6 months or so.

9. I knew I wanted to be an art teacher when I was a little girl. My favorite thing to draw was a house.

10. I didn't become an art teacher until I had been out of college for 27 years.

11. I love teaching art.

12. I worked in art therapy for 13 years after college and then became a church secretary so I could be home with my kids more. I loved both of those jobs too.

13. One of the first things I remember about meeting the man who is now my husband is that he walked across campus wearing a pizza hut hat every day. I was always sitting in front of the "hippie" men's dorm with my punk rocker friend, Carolyn. We would yell "HI EVERETT" really loud at him across the lawn. He thought we were strange.

14. I also would go visit the men's dorm where he lived (the "jock" dorm). He worked at the front desk, where we had to sign in, and he often was making rice krispie treats in his popcorn popper. My friends and I would steal them.

15. I dream about living in the mountains and owning an art store where I can create while tourists go through my shop.

16. Part of what I like about the idea of living in the mountains is being snowed in during the winter.

17. I love playing Pictionary and I don't think it has anything to do with being an artist. I think it has to do with being in tune with your Pictionary partner. Everett and I are a Pictionary team to be reckoned with.

18. I love playing board games.

19. Once when we were camping, my friend Dawn and I were mad because our husbands had taken too long fishing. We had a new board game called "Adverteasing" so we looked at all the cards at the front of the deck. Then when the guys came back to the campsite, we kicked their hiney's. They were amazed at our Adverteasing prowess. We told them we cheated.

20. Ferris wheels and roller coasters are my favorite carnival rides.

21. Once I was riding the swings at the Kansas State Fair. I couldn't get the safety belt hooked and the carnival guy came around and asked me "what's wrong with you, are you from Iowa?" And I am!

That's enough for now. Tomorrow we take our oldest to college. I feel kind of sick (see #1).

Routine

2010-08-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

Ready. for. routine. again.

Summer is awesome. I love summer and the break. And I'm so thankful for the break we all get.

But I'm so so so so so so ready for a routine again in my house. I love my 9 o'clock tv time every night. Hubby and I watch grown-up shows. Kids are in bed or at grandmas and are ate least getting ready for bed by then.

I'm such a slacker in the summer. No regular bedtimes (except for me and Everett). I'm ready for regular bedtimes again, and for life to get back into a routine.

We've had lots going on. Two birthdays (16 & 18! WOW!), two plays, mall night, camps, houseguest and more). So much I could blog about.

And heat. Oh yeah. Ready for a break from that too!

Better

2010-07-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

That was a pretty dark depressing post, wasn't it? Life is really not that bad. It can feel bad sometimes. I've been finding great meaning in something a fellow blogger friend wrote in her blog recently (Or maybe reposted from an earlier date). She wrote " i was reminded again of what seems to be my basic faith: god is good, horrors happen, god is still good."

*Photo stolen from my daughter. And reminds me of a favorite poem by Susan Polis Schutz. I was going to put it here, but I can't find it. Maybe later :)

Happy days!

The Scream

2010-07-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little like this lately:

"I was out walking with two friends - the sun began to set - suddenly the sky turned blood-red - I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on a fence - there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city - my friends walked on, and there I still stood, trembling with fear - and I sensed an endless scream passing through nature." - Edvard Munch (inspiration for his painting The Scream).

Well, not quite like that, but kind of.

Sad things in the world and anxiety at home have been weighing me down.

But it's getting better.

I bought a little notebook and am keeping a gratitude journal. I'm having daily words e-mailed to me from gratefulness.org. My life is good. I have many blessings. Many, many blessings.

I need to let myself be sad sometimes too. I think I feel like I shouldn't be sad because other people's happiness is my responsibility. Sometimes it's too much responsibility.

I'm better now though, really.

Summer words

2010-07-08T09:06:00.001-07:00

*Gratitude
*Worry
*Love
*Rest
*Peace
*Frustration
*Gratitude

Please vote for me!!!

2010-06-25T09:50:00.001-07:00

I want to win an Ipad and you could win a $100 Amazon gift certificate for voting for me!!! Go to this page http://shareasmile.smilegeneration.com/submission/subprofile/765 and check out Emma's picture. You have to register but then you can vote (for me!!!) four times!

Ok, you can vote for whoever you want, but voting for me would be ok too :)

Thanks!

Letter from camp

2010-06-22T10:10:00.001-07:00

Ellie is at camp on her own for the first time this week. Last summer I was there with her, working in the kitchen.

She looks happy enough here, right?

Here is an excerpt from my letter from her today:

I want u here. I'm crying. Still crying. I've had a horrible time. I'm serious come get me. I'm starting to feel really sick. I need to come home. I don't care about anything else right now. Please come get me. No matter what anyone says. Please mommy I need u right now.

I was already feeling a little overwhelmed today. Wow.

Really?

2010-06-10T05:10:00.001-07:00

How many washcloths does one bathroom need? Four of us use this bathroom. That's at least two washcloths each. Seriously? Actually, this is an old picture. There are currently even more washcloths in my bathroom. I know it's silly, but it drives me crazy. Is it too much to ask that you put your old washcloth in the dirty cloths before you get out a new one?

Warp Speed

2010-05-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

From thisto this

in the (seemingly) blink of an eye.

Graduation done, summer begun. Heart string plucking continues!

Where are Hope and Michael when you need them?

2010-05-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

In the late 80's, I was addicted to a t.v. show called thirtysomething. It was about a youngish (30-something) couple, Hope & Michael Steadman. They were starting a family and living a grown up life, with all their friends and the drama that goes with all that. I was twentysomething at the time, and ready to start a family of my own. . I loved the idea of becoming a grown up and still having all these friends around all the time, sharing just like in college. The Big Chill was my favorite movie during that era of my life, which had similar themes.

Anyway, Hope and Michael kind of helped me work through what being a mom of young children might be like. How I might handle things, what I might do so I could stay home more with the kids, what challenges we might meet.

My brother-in-law even told us once that we had a perfect life, just like Hope and Michael.

But the show ended while their kids were still little. I was just thinking this morning that I could use some kind of Hope & Michael sending their kids off to college about now. Not that t.v. is the best place to find mentors, but sometimes . . .

My whole point was to try to add some levity. Life is good. Thanks for the words of support Kristin & Amy!

The letting go

2010-05-03T16:54:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling a little melancholy lately. I'm coming to grips with moving into the next phase of my life. It's gut-wrenching.

I remember when the thing I wanted most in life was to be a mom. Then I had a miscarriage and it became an obsession. And then Erin was born. And life changed in ways I could never have imagined. The world changed. Everyone else went on with their lives like everything was the same. I remember coming out of the hospital and the world looked, felt, WAS different. But everyone else was going on as if nothing had changed.

And now, what, 2 or 3 years have passed and she's graduating and going to college. I remember leaving home and going to college. Although I went home for every break and every summer while I was in college, I never lived at home again. I know our family is going to change again, and it makes me sad.

I'm thrilled with the young woman she's become. I'm excited for her and the opportunities that lie ahead for her, and the gifts she brings to the world by moving out into it on her own.

But I'm sad to lose what we've had in our house for the last 18 years. I know our family will change when she goes off to college. It won't be bad, we have our two other wonderful girls still at home. But it will not be the same. We will all miss her.

I know, I KNOW. It's not that we won't see her anymore and share lots of joy with her, and her with us. It's just change, and it's hard.

Thanks for listening :)

Teaser

2010-02-11T20:41:00.001-08:00

Don't forget to check out my art teacher blog.

I have lots of new projects to post when I have time (which might be in 10 years or so :) But here's a teaser.

Really?

2010-02-11T20:31:00.000-08:00

She's really ready to go to college? Really?Somehow I still can't get my mind wrapped around that.
We had a nice visit with my sister during our college roadtrip weekend. It was cut a bit short due to unpredictable weather forecasts. Never came to pass, but we were better safe than sorry. At least that's what we thought at the time. I'm not very good at taking those pictures of myself and someone else. I got myself in the middle of the picture, but cut my sister's head off. Of course, it's all about me, right? We are in a really neat coffee/antique/consignment clothes shop in Baldwin City. If you're up that way, check it out! Can't remember what it's called . . . something about pink. But it's a tiny town. You'll find it.

Finally, more Christmas

2010-01-25T20:39:00.000-08:00

Santa's arrival (he left footprints!!!)

Goofy girls with their Korean ski hats. (Uncle E is stationed in Korea)

Christmas day soccer game!80 year old riding her new bike. Wow. And she has broken her back and often uses a walker or wheelchair to get around. I can't tell you how impressed I was with that Christmas day bike ride!
A nice view. This is my favorite spot when we're there on a spring morning. My coffee and my book and I'm set for as long as I can get away with it!

More next time!

Christmas 09, Part I

2010-01-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

In pictures. Maybe a few words :) We went to the great southwest. I love it there.

I can't get blogger to do my photos like I want, so I'll do the next segment tomorrow or sometime soon :) This is from arrival to Christmas Eve. See that little tree in the lower left hand corner of the last picture? I tied about 20-30 small pewter ornaments to it. What a good daughter-in-law, right?

Art Teacher Blog

2009-11-23T20:48:00.000-08:00

I'm starting an art teacher blog at http://keepingthemistakes.wordpress.com/.

I'm so addicted to art teacher blogs I thought to myself, why not join in? So we'll see. Don't know when/if I'll have time to post much but it's kind of fun. Come visit me there :)

Much better

2009-11-06T07:13:00.000-08:00

Wow, I was really sick. Fever for 10 days. But I'm much better now, a little cough but mostly really good.

Work is going so well, I'm almost afraid to say it out loud! I'm still exhausted most days and feel like I'm not getting all the things done that I need to, but I love it. I really really love it, and I'm so thankful that I'm able to work at what I love so much. Even my most challenging class yesterday was successful. I know their classroom teacher might come to pick them up and think I have total chaos in the art room, but it went so much better than it had before.

I'm hoping to snap some pictures of recent projects today so I can post some of them.

Happy Friday!

My mommy doesn't feel good . . .

2009-10-17T11:29:00.001-07:00

I can't find my socks.

I wish she would feel all better

Those were words from an ad for cold medicine when I was little, said by a sad child.

I've been sick this week, and it feels like things fall apart when I'm not up and around, making sure everything is running as it should. The dishes don't get done, lessons get missed. I don't want to be so indepenisible. I mean, I suppose if I'm being honest, on some level I do, but it feels awful to be sick and feel like your loved ones are missing out on things because of it.

The rest of my family just left for camping at our church retreat. I really wanted to go, but I just don't feel well and I don't think camping would be the thing to do. It was hard for me to watch them leave. But, I know they'll have a great time. And I'll miss them. But they'll be home before I know it.

sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.

2009-10-02T17:15:00.000-07:00

Even though I had a great, relaxing day. Even though I love the colors and the way the sun feels on a cool fall morning.
Fall always makes me feel a little bit melancholy.

I don't think I have a real strong tendency towards depression. Thank goodness.

It might be partly because my grandma died in October and her funeral was on my birthday, probably about my 26th. That was the first time I experienced that kind of loss.

Maybe, too, it's because things are dying all around. I know all about the rebirth that comes after the winter, but the death part of it is still hard. Even though it's a beautiful, often poignant, death.

And it might be, as the years go by, the melancholy of another year past, regrets for what has or hasn't come to pass. Mixed feelings as our children grow away from us and into themselves.

All by myself . . .

2009-10-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I got to spend today all by myself. Doing whatever I want. Without anyone getting impatient with me for taking too long. I don't get to do that very often. It's been nice. If it weren't so windy (and if that noisy machinery would get out from in front of my house) I'd say it's an almost perfect day! And now I get to sit at the computer if I want to, for as long as I want (well, at least until school is out :). Here's how I've spent my day.

First, I went to Meridian Market to get some gummy candy corn (Thanks to Beki :). I had to deliver a notebook to my daughter at the high school, so I was on that side of town anyway :)

Then, after breakfast and coffee with a friend, I went downtown to Metcalf Sisters Antiques to browse and I found a number of "treasures" . . .

Electronic Jumbles game for my mom . . .it might not work, BUT, it was only 10 cents. Two bright colored abacus (abacuses, abacai???) and bright rainbow placemats for my art room, a hammered aluminum tray just beause I liked how it looked and it was on sale, and some vintage postcards of places we've been. AND I ran into Megan . . .and I went there partly because she talks about the great treasures she finds there, so it was extra cool that I ran into her!

And then, after a leisurely walk through Wal-mart . . .

YUM. A Chile-Q from Lupe's. My favorite.

AND, when I got my mail I had my new FREE (well, sort of free, I had to subscribe to Knit'N Style magazine) circular Options knitting needles --they're made of rainbow colored wood. I love rainbows!

It's a good day :)

I really feel like an art teacher

2009-09-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

Two things today (well, maybe 3) that really made me feel like an art teacher!

First, I painted with my kindergartners at the school where my art room has no water (not even in the same building -- I have to tote it across a parking lot). We drew birds and painted them with watercolor. When I left the building the K class was at recess and one of them yelled at me (at the top of his lungs), "HI MRS. BURNS!!! I LOVE PAINTING AND DRAWING!" How could that not make me smile???

Then, at the other school, I have all my classes draw something when they first come in. My "entering art class" ritual. Today it was scissors. The point is to really take your time and observe what you're drawing, and then draw what you see. My 4th graders were AMAZING. Their drawing is improving. They are really OBSERVING. I asked if they noticed that their drawing was getting better and they all happily agreed.

Oh, and then I taught my first drawing lesson about the elements of art and principles of design. And I really felt like I knew what I was talking about. Wow!!!

Might as well face it . . .

2009-09-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted to blogs. If you were around during the 80's, Robert Palmer is playing in your head right now. Well, he is in mine anyway. I'm addicted to many blogs, but the ones I'm most addicted to right now are art teacher blogs. Thanks Kristen :)! She turned me on to some great ones, which in turn led me to other great ones. Lots of great inspiration. I don't even pretend to be a great art teacher (yet), but here are some projects I've done with the kiddos so far, and one I'm going to start next week. With the middle schoolers. Who are my greatest challenge.
Exciting . . . my name is above the door!!!
Graph paper designs.

Turtle directed drawing line/pattern study with K & 1st grade.

Kandinsky circles with Kindergarten.

Name line study - 4th & 5th grades

Project starting next week with middle school. I had fun starting this one! It's a color-wheel, color-mixing mandala. FUN! Can't wait to see these completed. I love color!

It flies

2009-09-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

Time, that is. Seriously.

I have no time, these days, it seems. At least no time with much energy.

I love my new job.

I really do.
But I'm exhausted when I get home.

And I only do it 4 days a week!

The pictures above are of a fishing trip in early AUGUST! Yes, I have been so busy they have just been waiting on my camera for me all this time. It was before school started. Just before.

Last weekend we went on our first college visit. KU. This is at Emporia State.

I am so not ready for this. Time flies with kids too.

We got together with my sister. This is my pitiful attempt to take one of those self-portrait picture all the kids are so good at. Pretty good huh?

Wow

2009-09-07T20:51:00.001-07:00

I got some new books to use as art class inspiration. They're by Peter H. Reynolds and they're really good. "Ish" is my favorite. You should find it and read it (I could loan it to you unless I'm using it in class :). I like "The Dot" too. I just found out tonight that he has another book called "The North Star" and you can read it online here. I'm not a big fan of reading online, but it's nice sometimes. It's a great book encouraging kids to follow their own star and take their own journey through life, not just follow the crowd.

*This picture has nothing to do with this post, but check out those clouds! It's from the week I cooked at Camp Mennoscah in early July. The last night, the kids were doing skits and that cloud bank started showing up. I went to listen to the radio and there were big storms in Wichita and home, but nothing at camp. Thank goodness. Cabins full of freaking out youngsters isn't fun!

A good mother

2009-08-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

"She loves them so, she could be such a wonderful mother if only her children were always still like this, and lying sleeping."

from The Ladies Lending Library by Janice Kulyk Keefer

I almost woke people up laughing out loud when I read this last night.

August stars

2009-08-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up in Iowa, we moved to the country when I was 11 or 12. We weren't farmers, but we lived about 10 miles out of town, about a mile from the country church we attended. I loved living in the country. At our first country house, I had a favorite abandoned hog feeder. It looked a lot like the one below except it was all silver. I liked to climb on it and sit and watch the sun set.

I enjoyed the quiet, peaceful country life. I loved the country sounds. Crickets, locusts, frogs, tractors. It took some getting used to though. It also took getting used to when I moved back into town as an adult.

One memory that is especially vivid is lying in my bedroom at night, looking out the open window at all the stars. There was very little light in the country then, and the stars were incredible. I remember seeing lots of falling stars. As I think about it now, it was probably the August Perseid meteor showers, but at the time I didn’t know about that, and it was incredibly magical to see falling stars. I spent lots of time lying there in the dark thinking about the mysteries of life, faith, and what my future would hold.

I also remember loving it when we would get snowed in. I’m sure for my parents it wasn’t nearly as much fun, although my mom tells me they made the best of it and enjoyed it. But no heat, no lights, no water (our well/pump was on an electric switch or something) couldn’t have been that much fun for them. I loved it though.

I hope my kids have magical memories from their childhood like I do from mine.

*This post isn't as good as the first one was, but it's as good as I can do tonight :)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2009-08-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

This is how Fridays feel to me. They're my day off. I get a three day weekend, every week. I know how lucky I am to have that.

Today wasn't totally relaxing. I had to testify in court (!!!) for a friend in a custody suit. That was stressful but truth will prevail.

It's so nice to have a day that just is. Reminds me of one of my favorite Dan Fogelberg songs "To the Morning".

It's going to be a day -- really nothing left to say but come on morning.

Good week in art class. Wish I had pictures. Maybe next week.

One week down

2009-08-21T06:59:00.001-07:00

I don't have any great pictures to share. I have to admit I'm kind of wiped out, after 21 different classes this week. Normally I'll have 24, but no Kindergarten at SC this week. Next week I'll have two of the three K classes. Won't have all three in one week until all day kindergarten starts. Anyway, it went well. Better than I expected. What a relief. I was so nervous, excited, scared, thrilled. I appreciated so much all the good thoughts and prayers sent my way. I'm so thankful to be doing what I love to do and getting paid for it.

I have middle school grades at one of the schools. I have to admit it's not my favorite. I student taught in middle and high school, but I always knew I wanted to teach at the elementary level. Middle schoolers are a different breed, and I salute those who are called to teach that level for sure. I will muddle through, but I know it's not my calling. As they went out my door yesterday, one of them said "so, what do you think of the new art teacher?". Thankfully, I didn't hear the response :)

A funny story from my week (sorry Facebook friends if you've already seen this one). At the school I'm less familiar with, I gave out nametags to help me put names with faces. In the Kindergarten class, I had a nametag with the name M-I-C-K-E-Y. That's how the name was on my roster. So I called out Mickey (like Mickey Mouse). No answer. I said it again. The kids responded "Mickey isn't here". I asked if he was absent and they said yes. I then spied one little boy with no nametag and asked him his name. He replied, "Mikey (as in he likes it, hey Mikey)." LOL. They then proceeded to tell their Kindergarten teacher that they had 20 in the class, not 19 like she had said (because Mickey was absent). She had no idea what they were talking about until I explained it to her at lunch the next day. Too funny.

Art room!

2009-08-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

No time to do much posting but had to share some photos of the art room! First classees on Monday. Excited, anxious . . will only get worse as Monday approaches. Can't wait!!!

The most beautiful bead EVER

2009-07-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ellie and I were creating with polymer clay last night and I made a bead that made me exclaim that it is the most beautiful bead EVER!

This is the flipside. Can you guess which one it is (the most beautiful bead EVER)?

Ellie was creating these light switch covers covered with clay.

This is the cane that my "most beautiful bead EVER" was created with.

This is the flipside of the cane. It was created using the Klimt Cane, made using instructions in the book The Art of Polymer Clay Millefiori Techniques. I made it using my extruder that I pined for so long and finally bought early this summer.

Check out this awesome website Art Lessons for Kids
She has incredible ideas for art classes and I have gotten so much inspiration from her site!

I can't believe it

2009-07-26T08:20:00.001-07:00

Family photo at Garden of the Gods (need to lighten it some)

Family photo at Black Canyon of the Gunnison

Family photo at a roadside park in Alamosa, CO, after trekking in the Great Sand Dunes. \

Loved the action in this pic I took of Ellie at church camp (I was a cook for the week she was there)
-------------------
Summer is winding down, for my family and I at least. It's been busy. Busier than I expected. Faster too. Our vacation was great. I'm posting a few photos from it here. All of them are on facebook (yes ALL of them) if you're interested in seeing more.Our older two girls will be gone for the next two weeks, home 1.5 days in the middle before leaving again. One of the days/nights they'll be home I will be going to "Mall Night", a Girl Scout overnight event, with Ellie. I can't wait (read this with very sarcastic inflection). It starts at 9 PM and ends at 5 AM. Why did I agree to that???? It will be an experience, that's for sure. Two days after that event I start my new job. I already have butterflies. I'm excited but nervous at the same time.

So many transitions. Not only am I starting a new job, but our oldest is starting her Senior year in high school. Yesterday was her last MAYB tournament. It's not so much that I'll miss the tournaments, but just the ending of things is hard. I've never been good at endings or goodbyes. I'm anticipating more of them, and thinking of sending her off to college in a year is almost more than I can even wrap my mind around. When your kids are little everyone tells you "enjoy these years, they'll be gone in an instant" and when they say it, you think yeah yeah yeah, I'm so busy but I'm enjoying it all I can. And you are. But then all of a sudden, you see that they were right, and the years have flown. And you enjoyed them so much, but you're not ready for them to be over.

I was thinking . . .

2009-06-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

Summer was supposed to be, going to be, meant to be . . . slow, relaxed, restful. Hmmmm. So far, not so good. But, we've had lots of adventures. I guess that's maybe what summer is supposed to be.

The birthday king with his court

I had a big, long to-do list to start out my week.

My big girls had their hair straightened and cut (it didn't last)

But then: My neighbor/friend had a major crisis, Ellie had day camp, Erin got sick, Emma had a birthday, we had a Sunday school class farewell for a member going to Colombia for 3 years, Everett & I had an anniversary, I had a t-b test for my new job (!!!) . . . oh, and the van had an oil change.

Emma decided to manually move the fan while the electricity was off

So, one little thing has gotten crossed off my big, long to-do list.

Tie-dying adventure (not on the list :)

But right at this moment. I'm at peace with that :)

Our table during the electricity outage . . peace!

My Favorite Things

2009-06-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

I think I'll do a weekly post, for the summer anyway, called My Favorite Things. I have lots of favorite things, depending on the day. Today is my husband's birthday, but my post has absolutely nothing to do with that, although he is definitely right up there at the top of my favorite things list. (I was going to post a photo of him, but blogger doesn't seem to want to put photos in right now). I'm not really thinking people-"things" though.

Anyway, right at this moment in time, the recipe below is one of my very favorite things. Our kids, especially the youngest, love sub sandwiches. They like going to that restaurant that specializes in sub sandwiches, but it hurts me to pay almost $4 for a turkey and cheese sandwich. Plus, when we had a garage sale last summer, my sister was selling this cool baguette pan and it works great for this recipe. Anyway, I tried buying lunchmeat and "sub" shaped bread at the store, and that was somewhat successful. We found a bread called Sweet Italian Subs at one store and the kids loved it, but it wasn't always available and was, again, kind of expensive. So, I found the recipe below at Recipe Zaar. It's a hit, and it's so easy! If you have a bread machine with a dough setting anyway. Give it a try. I'm going to use whole wheat flour next time (to which the kids yell NOOOOOOO, but I'm going to do it anyway :).

Sweet Italian Bread

1 cup water
1 T. olive oil
7 T. sugar
1 egg
3 1/2 c. flour
2 t. yeast

Put all ingredients into bread machine. Mix on dough setting. When cycle is complete, put dough onto greased surface and let it rest for 20 minutes. After dough has rested, cut in half (or however many loaves you want . . I made individual sub loaves). Form into two long loaves (I like to cut little slits along the top of the loaf to make it more like that sub restaurant). Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes. Brush with butter.

Yum. It's even good by itself.

It was!

2009-06-08T18:59:00.001-07:00

Fun, that is. Everything didn't go exactly as I thought it would in my head.
But I think everyone had fun. I love the group color experience paintings. We used only yellow, red and blue. And we got messy, very messy. There is carpet in the room we used. It has paint on it now. And some of the walls do, too.
The chalk balloons . . . fun. I'll do it again. It, also, didn't go exactly as planned. I would do it a little differently next time. Cars had some chalk on them :) It'll wash off easily.

We made most of our own liquid chalk. Very fun. Equal parts water and corn starch. Mix well and add food coloring. We used neon and regular food coloring. Filling the balloons with chalk was a challenge . . we ended up using bicycle water bottles and stretching the balloon over the opening and sqeezing. It was pretty messy, especially when the balloon broke or there was a weak spot. I'd recommend doing it outdoors, although we did it at our kitchen table after it started to rain. It washes out easily. Not sure how I'll get it out of the kitchen carpet, but I really hate that carpet and want to pull it up anyway. One more reason to do it sooner rather than later, right? I'd also recommend not filling them as far ahead as we did as the chalk all settled and the balloons needed to be shaken well before throwing, otherwise they were chunky. I think the kids had fun, which is what it was all about (the grown-ups/big kids having fun was just an added perk). It's all about the process.

Fun!

2009-06-07T20:49:00.001-07:00

Our summer has started out so busy I'm thinking in one word, one syllable sentences.

I'm preparing, with my kid's help, for an art experiences (music, drama, movement and visual arts) camp for pre-schoolers this week.

We're ending each day with a group activity and I'm in charge tomorrow.

We're going to do water balloon sidewalk chalk "performance" art ala Jackson Pollack.

Tonight we got the balloons ready. It was messy work. Can you see the speckles of liquid chalk all over her?
That was only the beginning.

Hopefully, it will work, and hopefully I'll have pictures.

ART!!!

2009-05-17T06:53:00.001-07:00

I'm officially an art teacher next year! I am SO EXCITED and I can't wait. I can't even begin to describe how exciting it is to finally do what I studied to do so long ago.

Check out this blog post. It reminded me of this photo montage I did for Valentine's Day when Erin & Em were little.

There isn't supposed to be a line down the middle. I did all of this by hand, actual photos cut and glued onto paper. Now I would do it all digitally. I consider doing it again every year. Maybe Making the letters D-A-D like this would be a good Father's Day gift this year. Thanks for the inspiration Beki!

Saturday = Cleaning Day?

2009-05-02T13:33:00.000-07:00

I'm trying. I decided I've done my children a great disservice as a mom by not teaching them about having a cleaning day every week. Housekeeping is not my forte. I'll blame it on being creative. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, I decided recently that I'm going to make up for not teaching them at a younger age, and teach them now. I made a list with a funky font, I'm going to laminate it so we can check off things when they're done. Today was day 1. For starters, the house is a real mess. We got through one, maybe two rooms. Also, I had something else scheduled. It ended up being cancelled, but that kind of threw a wrench in things. Why should THEY have to do the work that I set into motion if I wasn't even going to be there????? Anyway, here is the fruit of our labor.
I know, nothing to write home about, but trust me, it looks waaaaaaaay better than it did. It's a start.

Storm stories

2009-04-28T20:55:00.000-07:00

Lots of storm stories this week. Wow. I was grocery shopping when the storm moved in on Sunday. I wasn't sure we should drive home, but when I called, Everett said he didn't know what I was so worried about -- no warnings here, just come home. We got about two blocks before the rain and wind started in so hard I could hardly see a few feet in front of the car. The whole time I was assuring Ellie that "we're fine, we'll be home soon, we're fine" but inside I was freaking out. The street lights went out and the tornado siren started. I knew we were in the middle of a tornado. The rain and wind got even stronger. The older two girls had been downtown working and when I called home Everett said they were closing up and coming home. When we finally got home I was so relieved to be there, but . . . the older girls weren't there. I was so afraid that they were out driving in what I had just driven home in. It was hard getting the car doors open, hard walking to the house in the wind because it was so strong. I was soaked to the skin by the time I got in, Ellie was crying. Everett told me the girls were riding the storm out downtown. I was worried about them. And the basement wall had water running down it, but that was the least of my worries. Finally, the all clear siren blew, we went upstairs and the girls called and headed home. Emma came in crying, telling me Erin wasn't afraid at all. Erin had held her hand and told her it would be ok. I hugged and comforted Emma. Then I went to give Erin a big hug and she kind of fell apart. She was being strong for her sister. I know if Emma had been with us, she would have been strong for Ellie and comforted her. I was so proud of them. I wish they had been with me, but they knew what to do, and they took care of each other. I love my girls so much. And I'm so thankful we were safe.

I'm trying, lord knows I'm trying

2009-04-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

-- Robert Service

So I gave up talking about people for lent.

I'm not a big talker about people, or gossiper.

But I was noticing a trend.

I was getting annoyed with people I didn't even know.

And talking about them.

So you can imagine that might bleed over into those I do know.

I wasn't liking the trend at all.

I failed miserably in my lenten sacrifice.

But, by the time lent ended, I thought long and hard

anytime I thought about talking about someone.

Even the guy who pulls up beside the line of cars waiting for the train on Broadway.
Where there's not a second lane.
You know what I'm talking about.

I was even saving up some things to talk about.

Until after lent.

I even started the e-mail to say "we've got to talk".

But I deleted it without sending it.

It's progress.

One is not enough

2009-04-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Reduce - Reuse - Recycle

second largest hand-dug well in the country . . with trash floating in it :(

On my mind.

Wondering if I'm teaching my kids that recycling alone is enough.
And it's not.

I thought and thought and want to tell them, and anyone else I guess, that it takes all three.

This was prompted, in part, by the water bottles rolling around on the floor of the car the older two take to school. I have been refusing to buy water bottles for a long time. We have a cupboard full of reusable water bottles, plus the plastic is so bad for the landfill, where many of them end up. I did buy some water bottles for the basketball team in February or March, but I got the ones made from corn and not petroleum. If we're traveling, I tell them to pack a reusable bottle or buy their own bottles on the road.

So, I was thinking that maybe they need to be reminded of the reduce & reuse parts of that mantra. Like, for instance, the order of the words isn't just serendipity. They are in that order for a reason.

Reduce our consumption -- most important.
What we can't reduce, make sure it's something that can be reused.
And, finally, if we can't reduce or reuse, then recycle.
Makes sense to me.
That's my focus for the week, as we celebrate Earth day.

Maybe someone should warn my kids?

Throwing ice balls like a boy*

2009-03-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

Maybe it’s because Erin throws shot put and discus in track. She’s stronger than she realizes, throws harder than she thinks. Emma came in from playing in the melting snow/ice crying because she’d been hit in the face with a hard-thrown snow/ice ball. As I was unloading and loading the dishwasher yet again after getting lunch in the oven, I was reminded of a winter day many years ago. Everett and I hadn’t been dating for long. Our young love reveled in things like taking walks in the moonlight, talking til the wee hours of the morning about “life”, and playing in the snow. And then he threw the ice ball. And through my tears, I asked the age old question “why do boys play so rough???”. I have since become jaded. I won’t play games with boys/men that have the potential to be rough. Call me a wimp.

I have more Spring Break to post about, but this post was screaming to be posted today :)

*I try not to generalize about people, regarding gender or other things, but something in my life has made me believe that more often than not, boys tend to play rougher than girls. There was a time when I would have argued that this wasn't true, until I was blue in the face. Then I had kids, and raised them right next to friends raising kids, and the truth of gender differences became clear to me. There ARE ways we socialize our children to teach them to be "girlish" or "boyish" but there are clear differences too.

Breaking the Spring

2009-03-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

We had a great Spring Break. From exploring quirky Kansas sites, to prom dress shopping, to college visits (YIKES), to staying in the smallest cabin known to man (probably not, but it sure seemed like it) we had a fun week together. We did a couple of day trips, with mornings spent working at home . . and we actually made some progress on cleaning the house finally! Here's a quick photo journey through the first half of the week. I have 161 pictures, so hard to choose which ones to share, but I'm trying :)

Day one (Sunday) was spent exploring Marion County . . this is at the city park in Marion. My camera was doing weird color things!

Day two -- prom dress shopping (with four teenage girls!) It was a fun day and full of laughs. I'm sure every mom thinks her daughter looks beautiful in every dress she tries on. She really did :) (this isn't the one she chose . . . you have to wait until April 18 to see that one :)

Day three - Rock City in Minneapolis, Kansas -- FUN!!My family all climbed up the rocks . . .
I sat on rocks that weren't too far up from the ground :) And I took most of the pictures so I'm not in very many, which is fine with me!
Did you know that Minneapolis, Kansas is the hometown of George Washington Carver??? I didn't, but here's a plaque to prove it (we had a Kansas day trips book that alerted us to this little-known-fact). Another little-known-fact is that there is a YARN SHOP in Minneapolis, KS. I visited it and bought some great yarn and needles. There is also an ice cream shop that sells the biggest "small" cones I have ever seen.
Day three ended at Maxwell Game Preserve in rural Galva or Canton. Everett and I went there during our college years and our good friends were engaged at the top of this tower. We saw elk for the first time this trip and also saw buffalo fairly close. It was a little windy but very peacefull and beautiful! I would have taken more photos but my camera batteries died about 2 seconds after this one was taken!

I'll have to finish tomorrow or another day soon as my bed is calling out to me. I sleep horribly when I'm away from my waterbed!

Keeping Sabbath

2009-03-01T12:09:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about keeping, or even finding, Sabbath. Our sermon at church on the first Sunday of Lent was about keeping Sabbath, and how that has kind of becoming a thing of the past. I've thought a lot about why that happens, especially for women. I wrote a really long-winded post about it, going back to my childhood even. But as I was typing I wondered what good might come of it. It seemed like I was griping, complaining, looking for a reason to blame anyone but myself for my lack of finding and keeping Sabbath in my life. I gave up talking about people for lent. I've become negative lately, at least it feels that way to me. I wasn't seeing God in those I interact with. I'm trying to do that as I wait for Easter, and strive to find Sabbath.

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream.

The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone."

"The Wise Woman's Stone" Author Unknown

Addicted

2009-02-20T21:16:00.000-08:00

I got a new polymer clay book with my christmas barnes & noble gift card. It's amazingly inspiringThis is my addiction right now. I can't wait to go to the craft store tomorrow to stock up on clay. In different colors. I think I'm going to make a Cora Paige line and put them in my etsy shop. I'm totally hooked. I had lots of things to finish this week, including these shirts that we silk-screened for the journalism class at the high school

That's the front. The backs came out better.

Anyway, I couldn't wait to get it done so I could play more with the clay. Tomorrow! I can't wait.

Fish

2009-02-19T20:35:00.001-08:00

Be Funky

2009-02-16T09:37:00.001-08:00

Anyone who knows me wellKnows that things like this really excite me

Probably way more than they should

I could truly spend hours doing things like this on the computer

especially when there are numerous other things I should be doing

Too much fun!
Try your own here.

Precious

2009-02-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.
When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will
bloom like flowers.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

World peace

2009-02-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

So, really, I have nothing of consequence to post about, but I love reading everyone's blogs (well, not everyone in the whole wide world, because if that were the case, I would never have time to do anything else, not even sleep. But everyone whose blogs I have bookmarked), and I started feeling like it had been a long time since I had posted. So, here we go. I just found a recipe for cookies via a blog and the post title with the recipe had something about world peace in it. It appears I have a little bit of an issue with run-on sentences tonight. I wonder if that's a symptom of something, like brain overload? I've been so touched recently by the posts I've been reading. Beverly has a beautiful post about her growing family. I love Rilke too. I was much older when I discovered his writing. My favorite quote of his (so far) is this one:

I live my life in widening circles
that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.

I think I like it so much because it speaks to the belief I hold fast to, that although what we do in our lives might not impact the big picture, at least not in ways we might be able to see, they impact the big picture in the way talked about in the quote. I might not be able to make world peace, but I can make peace (or try to) in my house, at my job, in my neighborhood. And by doing that, it ripples out to others and then the things they do ripple out to others . . . like pay it forward.

Kristen has a beautiful post about siblings. It made me remember my siblings and hope that someday our girls will have wonderful memories of their growing up years and wonderful relationships with each other, although some days that's hard to imagine.

So many of the blogs I read have had posts to pray for Cora. I encourage everyone to pray for Cora and her family. From the moment our first daughter was born, the world changed for me. I remember leaving the hospital and seeing all the people in Newton going on with their daily lives like everything was still like it had been the day before. But it wasn't. The world had changed, hugely. And, my greatest fear was that something would happen, she would get sick or hurt, and I would have to watch her suffer. I'm so sad any parent has to do that.

A place in which our children can grow free and strong . . .

2009-01-19T06:48:00.000-08:00

I'm a big James Taylor fan. I saw him in concert once and it was incredible. So was Dan Fogleberg, but that's another story.

Two lines from his songs inspire me today, as we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. and anticipate the momentous innaguration tomorrow. It's an amazing time in the history of our country. The lines:

we are bound together

in our desire to see the world become

a place in which our children can grow free and strong. (from Shed a Little Light)

I first heard this song when Erin was a baby. It brought me to tears every time I heard it, because it so aptly conveyed how I wished to change the world, for her and for all children.

A song on the same album (cd now :) that also conveyed what I wished for children was this one:

hold tight

to your heart's desire

never ever let it go

let nobody fool you

into givin' it up too soon

tend your own fire

lay low and be strong

wait it out

let it come along

oh, wait a while . . . (from Like Everyone She Knows)

I still wish that for children everywhere, and for parents too.

So excited

2009-01-14T20:48:00.000-08:00

I'm excited. No, not because I am reaching all the goals of my new year's resolutions' already. I'm doing, well, ok. I've worked on some of them. No nagging. Heh

What I'm excited about is that I have not one, but TWO, potential gigs teaching art/craft classes this summer. I'm really feeling lots of energy and excitement about it. One is at the local fine arts/music academy and one is at the local rec. center. The fine arts academy one I pursued last summer, but not too hard. I've talked to the director since then and he seemed really interested so I sent him some class ideas this week. I think our town has a need for art classes for kids, especially older elementary and up. For starters, art once a week just doesn't cut it. Then after elementary school they can only take art as an elective, and if they are into orchestra or band or drama or journalism . . .their options are pretty slim. Plus, summer income for me is good. I love having summers off, but I don't make enough as a secretary to not have any summer income. The rec. center option came up when I talked to their business person and asked if they still had my potters wheel I left there 14 years ago or so. I taught art classes there at that time, and when I quit I "loaned" them my wheel to use with other teachers/classes. Well, two or three program directors later, I had no idea if my wheel was still there (it's a kick wheel made by my college classmates and it's one that I learned to throw pottery on myself!). It's still there, and in the process of finding out about it, she asked if I was interested in teaching more classes. So there you go.

I had something else of utmost importance, or maybe not, but it has flown out of my brain. I think that indicates that it's bedtime.

So I'm off to bed, hoping for a snow day :)

2009-01-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

Unknowingly,

we plow the dust of stars,

blown about us by the wind,

and drink the universe

in a glass of rain.

Ihab Hassan, American Author and Literary Theorist

Resolve

2009-01-04T22:13:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009. We traveled, via van, to El Paso over the holidays to visit Everett's family. It was a good trip and also good to come home. He has returned to El Paso today, via airplane, to celebrate his mother's 80th birthday tomorrow. He ended up spending 15+ hours in airports/airplanes due to miscommunication but he's there and she's surprised. We miss him. I don't do single, especially single parent, very well any more. It makes me appreciate him all the more when he returns so it's not all bad. My patience wears thin and I have a new respect and admiration for parents who do it by themselves all the time.

This is Emma & I celebrating New Year's Eve (before my slam-dancing injury). We were wearing 2008 glasses because it wasn't 2009 yet. Is it just me, or do I look just a wee bit crazy? It's in the eyes I think. I was with my in-laws (whom I love dearly), remember.

I decided to post my resolutions here. Maybe that ruins them. Does it? Somehow it seems like it's supposed to be a secret, and I guess part of that is so people won't nag you about why you' haven't done them, right? Well, I'm posting them here anyway. If you want to nag me about them, I guess that's up to you.

Exercize 3x a week
Do 5 Tibetan Rites daily
Go on a date with my husband at least once a month
Call my mother-in-law and send her a letter at least once a month
Figure out why our computer is so freaking slow
Knit
Not say mean things about people . . . be honest and up-front as much as possible and when I don't feel like I can say something directly to a person, keep them to myself.*

I think that's enough for now. Somehow putting them in black and white makes them more realistic for me. Plus, now I can't forget them.

I'd love to hear your resolutions too. I promise not to nag.

*someone told me right before Christmas that I had been reported to have been "bad-mouthing" them. I hadn't and was really offended that someone had accused me of it. But, it made me think long and hard about the things I do say and how they might be heard or repeated by someone else. I say a lot of things tounge-in-cheek, but people hearing it might not always hear it that way. And, I have to admit that at times I have said things that I shouldn't have and feel remorse about later.

On sale at a museum near you . . .

2008-12-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Guess what? I have some of my knitted/felted things (pictured below in a previous post) on sale at a museum near you, if you live in Newton or North Newton! How cool is that? I also have some of my wishing jars that I blogged about last summer there too. They almost sold out so I made more last night! Wow. I don't think any of my knitted things have sold yet, but I did sell two of my knitted/felted projects to friends on my own. Pretty exciting!

Also, in the time since my last post, school has ended for the holidays (woooohoooo), we hit a deer and totaled our van, we've mostly completed the process to have a new(er) van, and we've gone to lots of concerts, programs, basketball games, etc. Life is full and I am thankful for all the blessings in my life, although some days do feel like trials.

The words that have stuck with me in recent weeks were uttered during a worship service recently. They weren't the main topic or anything, but they were the ones that resonated for me and I try to repeat them, to myself and those I love . . .

Let us rejoice in the blessings we have received.

Someday at Christmas

2008-12-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

Someday at Christmas men won't be boys
Playing with bombs like kids play with toys
One warm December our hearts will see
A world where men are free

Someday at Christmas there'll be no wars
When we have learned what Christmas is for
When we have found what life's really worth
There'll be peace on earth

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime

Someday at Christmas we'll see a land
with no hungry children, no empty hands
One happy morning people will share
a world where people care

Someday at Christmas there'll be no tears
All men are equal and no man has fears
One shining moment, one prayer away
From our world today

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime

Someday at Christmas man will not fail
hate would be gone and love will prevail
Someday a new world that we can start
With hope in every heart

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime
Someday at Christmastime

Knitting Frenzy

2008-11-25T21:23:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks I can't stop knitting and felting . . .

I'm in a frenzy. I can't stop. The good -- using up yarn I've collected. The bad -- my house is a mess! But I'm calm (and happy :)

Georgia on my mind

2008-11-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

My lady Georgia, that's what my high school art teacher called her. She's the one who got me hooked on Georgia. Georgia O'Keefe. My all time favorite, wish I could have met her, artist. She's the one this blog is named after.

The painting From the faraway nearby can be seen here. My favorite vacation spot, so far, is New Mexico and one of my favorite vacations was a first anniversary trip there. We rented a (rustic) cabin in Red River for a week or so and did day trips all around the northern part of the state. We did things like rent a jeep and go 4-wheelin', visited Bandelier National Monument, I read lots sitting on the porch swing while Everett went fishing. Then I bought a Georgia O'Keefe guidebook of sorts and we travelled all around her "stomping grounds" in northern New Mexico. We had the best indian tacos in a little hole in the wall on a deserted stretch of highway near Abiquiu. And we went to the Lawrence ranch (D.H.) where she spent lots of time when she was in the area. I laid under the tree she used as her muse for this painting, The Lawrence TreeThere's a bench under the tree which, they say, she laid on to gain her perspective. I laid on it and took this pictureAs an art teacher "wannabe" this was an experience that I carry with me and look forward to sharing with my students some day. What can we do to get an unusual perspective on something we see every day? How does it change how we see something when we look at it froma different view? Hey, these things could have a kind of profound impact on other daily activities too. Hmmmmmm, I need to ponder that some more. I've been feeling pretty intolerant and angry lately, just ask my co-workers :)

Oh, and I almost forgot, her birthday was November 15. She would have been 111 this year :)

On taking offense

2008-11-08T21:19:00.000-08:00

I belong to an e-mail group of people I graduated from high school with. This week, there was much and varied election discussion. I'm all for people not agreeing and not being happy, or being very happy, with who wins an election. This year's presidential election brought out many strong feelings on both ends of the spectrum. After one e-mail tirade (about how Obama is going to take away our civil rights AND all our money), one of the listee's went on to say something like, "is it just me, or does Obama look like BJ Armstrong?" I don't even know who BJ Armstrong is. But then someone sent another e-mail with their pictures side by side. What do you think?

I'll be the first to admit that maybe I have some baggage related to issues of race. But, for the life of me, I don't really see any resemblance except for (sorta) their skin color. They both are brownish, although completely different shades of brown. Their eye, mouth and face shapes are totally different. I took offense and responded saying besides the fact that they're both African American I didn't see any similarity. Discussion on the e-mail list skidded to a complete halt. Nothing else was said about it.

So my question is, what I over-reacting? All I heard in my head was "they all look alike" and all the racism, overt and otherwise, that goes along with that. I won't apologize for being touchy about issues like this. The people I love the most are very affected by these things in ways I can only imagine. I've never been followed around in a store like the shop-keeper thinks I'm going to steal something, but I've been with my husband when it's happened to him. And I know that's just a tip of the iceberg.

I feel such hope for the future of my children and ALL children, that our country was able to rise above superficial issues like race in last week's election. But there's a long road ahead.

A brave new world requires a brave new mind.
Author Unknown
But Greatly Appreciated!

Let us turn our thoughts . . .

2008-11-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

I'm so overwhelmed with feelings this week. In true Mary Catherine Gallager fashion, my feelings could best be expressed, not by dialogue from a play or movie, but with song lyrics (James Taylor song lyrics - Shed a little light).

Let us turn our thoughts today
To Martin Luther King
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the Earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood
That we are bound together
In our desire to see the world become
A place in which our children
Can grow free and strong
We are bound together
By the task that stands before us
And the road that lies ahead
We are bound and we are bound

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

(Chorus)
Shed a little light, oh Lord
So that we can see
Just a little light, oh Lord
Wanna stand it on up
Stand it on up, oh Lord
Wanna walk it on down
Shed a little light, oh Lord

Can't get no light from the dollar bill
Don't give me no light from a TV screen
When I open my eyes
I wanna drink my fill
From the well on the hill

(Do you know what I mean?)
- Chorus -

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

Oh, Let us turn our thoughts today
To Martin Luther King
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the Earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood

The sacred art of dish-washing

2008-11-02T07:50:00.001-08:00

I've been knitting these dishcloths like crazy. I love the pattern. And the colors. It's called a ball-band dishcloth and it's from the book Mason-Dixon knitting. I got the book for my birthday but the pattern is available in several places online too. It looks and sounds complicated at first but it's really not hard if you can knit and purl.

I started knitting them as a project for the prayer shawl knitting group at our church. We started out knitting shawls, kind of based on a concept you can read about at this site.

Later we moved into knitting prayer cloths, 12"x12" cloths that are carried in each Sunday morning and set underneath an oil lamp as part of the worship center and our worship centering. I started knitting one of these dishcloths thinking it would be a nice pattern for a prayer cloth.

Then I started giving them to people to use as dishclothes, which is what the pattern says it is. Then I started thinking about washing dishes.

I read Kathleen Norris' book The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy and "Women's Work". I don't remember all that many specifics about the book, it's been several years since I read it, but the basis is that the daily tasks of life are sacred. That resonated with me, although some days I have a tough time finding the sacred in some of my daily tasks.

Recently I've gotten to the point where washing dishes is a stressful, kind of angry time. I get frustrated that no one else thinks about doing the dishes, or washing the table, or wiping off the counter. It's a downward spiral from there, and I often end up slamming cupboard doors and banging pots and plates and silverware loudly. I decided about a month ago that I was going to try to not get angry and just try to stay on top of the one task of dishwashing.

Then I discovered this pattern. While I was knitting these I started wondering "what if I knit dishclothes prayerfully, for myself and for others . . . how would that affect the art dishwashing as a sacred experience?".

So pretty much everyone on my Christmas list is going to get prayerfully knit dishcloths and, if time allows, some home-made dishwashing soap. I'm really re-motivated by this to try to find the sacred and focus on mindfulness in all that I do. Let me know if you'd like to receive one OR if you'd like to learn to knit your own.

When we walk like (we are running), we print anxiety and sorrow on the earth. We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the earth... Be aware of the contact between your feet and the earth. Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.
~Thich Nhat Hanh

Thoughtful Thursday

2008-10-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

Life has been busy lately. I have a couple of posts percolating but just can't seem to find the time to actually post them. Maybe this weekend. I even have titles already :) Autumn always makes me nostalgic and melancholy. Maybe because the trees are so beautiful but I know that soon all the leaves will have fallen and they will look bare and stark. Beautiful, too, but not like the flaming leaves of autumn. So, I'll leave today with this photograph from last weekend and Camp Mennoscah, and the words (and music I hope to add later) of a favorite Beatles song.

There are places I remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

Though I remember I’ll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I’ll often stop and think about them

In my life I’ll love you more

Happy Campers

2008-10-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

We made it to our camping destination last weekend. It was incredible. Beautiful weather, great family times, great park, wonderful campfire food, hiking, open air showers (meaning no roof over the showers -- freaked the kids out at first but then they kinda liked it). We also ate out once each day . . . my kinda camping :)

It was really great. We camped at Clinton Lake just outside of Lawrence. For all our pics go to my flickr site

And in knitting news, here is my latest obsession. It's knit with cotton yarn and it's called the ballband dishcloth. I love it. I'm working on my third since last week.

It's my bag, man

2008-10-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

Last summer I posted here about a pattern I found for making a tote bag by crocheting cut up plastic sacks from the grocery store. Emma and I made our plastic yarn and I tried crocheting with it. Ewwww. It was awful to crochet with, so I finally decided to make up my own pattern and knit a bag. I haven't written my pattern up yet, but when I do I'll post it here. It was really fun to knit with but awful to crochet with. Being a connoisseur of plastic bags now, I can also make recommendations as to which bags are the best to knit with! For now, for your viewing pleasure, I present . . .

And it's so much fun to carry it! People can't believe it's plastic until they touch it!

Footprints

2008-09-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

I've been cleaning in my kitchen this morning. I thought about posting about how ticked off it made me and griping about people in my family not doing their part, but . . .it's a slippery slope. Once I start, I might not stop. Not good for me or anyone else, so I decided to do something else before I go back to more cleaning. I was planning to post on the groovy kind of love (note the song playing on my sidebar) my husband and I have, but as you can probably imagine, I'm not feeling all that groovy about it at the moment, so I'll wait on that one :) Still love him, just not in a groovy-like way right now.

I was making pizza last night, and above you see a photo of my crust awaiting toppings. Yes, those are cat footprints. Naughty kitty. Yes, I went ahead and made the pizza on it. No one but Emma and I the wiser. And it tasted great. Any icky stuff baked out I'm sure. It made me laugh out loud though, when I went into the kitchen and saw those perfect paw prints in the crust.

Life is good (pawsitively good).

The Hippie Kind of Peace

2008-09-18T21:03:00.001-07:00

Meg posted her redone bathroom a while back. (do you need to get people's permission to link to their blog???) It's beautiful :) She had a mirror with "Peace" across the top. Her husband wanted her to be sure to tell everyone she didn't mean the hippie kind of peace. I commented that I'm kinda partial the hippie kind of peace myself (by the way, Sunday is the International Day of Peace. . .check out http://www.pinwheelsforpeace.com/ and make a pinwheel, or something else that inspires you, for peace). The clay covered bottle in the photo above made me think of the hippie kind of peace when we made it, and check out my brother's recent tie-dye! He sells them at Clayworks downtown, if you're local. He's kind of a hippie too, so it could be gen-u-ine hippie tie-dye!!

9 years ago

2008-09-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

9 years ago, just about now, I was holding this newborn baby girl in my arms. She was born at 10:45 p.m., just a little over an hour after we arrived at the hospital! I wasn't sure I was really in labor as I had never gone into labor naturally before. Hard to believe 9 years have gone by. We had a lovely day. Mostly we hung around home and took it easy. Late afternoon we went out to the country and picked apples. The day ended with me telling her the story of the day she was born as I tucked her in. She was such a sweet surprise for my 40th birthday. She was born almost exactly one month before I turned 40. Guess I'm giving my age away aren't I?

Just what I needed

2008-09-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

Today, like every other day,

we may wake up empty or frightened.

Don't open the door to the study and begin reading.

Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Maybe I should just leave it at that. Toilet overflowed twice last night (leaked down into the basement). But, I hated (such a strong word) the bathroom carpet and now it's gone!!! I overslept this morning, my computer blue screened on start up, and my head and neck hurt. Then, let's see, it was Bible school day so that was chaotic, plus on Tuesdays I sub during the lunch hour, so things at work were pretty crazy. But, here's what I found. People ask when you get to work "how are you" and I found myself saying either "fine" or even "good". Well, I thought to myself, I guess I'm pretty good. I could be better, but then again, it could be worse. That helped me keep a more positive outlook. But my head and neck still hurt, and I was tired (whine, whine). Then I got this quote in an e-mail. I get daily inspirations from inspiration peak. It was just what I needed today. I hope I wake up tomorrow and do just that, at least in my head and heart. Finding new ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

Can't we all just get along?

2008-09-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

Oh, the joy of my Saturday, grocery shopping. I do a lot of my grocery shopping at Walmart. I know, most people think it's a really evil place (but still shop there*). I agree it may be evil, although I've not done any research into their evil practices, and I'm not convinced that Kroeger (who own Dillons) have any better practices or ethics. Anyway, the shopping experience at Walmart, especially on the weekend, is less than appealing. I would LOVE to do more of my shopping at other stores, and I've been shopping more at Prairie Harvest since summer, but my budget just won't allow me to do all of my grocery shopping there. And the PH shopping experience . . . wonderful, soothing even. Anyway, in my shopping I observed soooo many grouchy, unhappy people. I generally smile and try to make eye contact with those I meet in the aisles. Today, people, for the most part, were having nothing of it (although I did see a few friendly faces and appreciated them immensely :). People were downright crabby and even mean. One guy pushed his cart right up to mine while I was stopped to get an item off the shelf and just stood there glaring . . .like, get out of my way. I saw the same guy later muttering loudly about people stopping and talking in the aisles. I guess I kind of look at it like driving, just because one person might be rushed or in a hurry, that doesn't mean everyone has to be, right??? And it made me think. Peace is HARD. It's hard to be peaceful in our own homes sometimes, at least it is in mine. And it's hard where we work. And it's hard at the grocery store. But I have to hope that little things make a difference. I know it made a difference to me today when someone smiled. It would have been easy to join into the crabby, grouchy, unhappiness around me and maybe that's what happens when things fall apart and violence erupts. It's contagious. Today I chose to let the smile be contageous.

* I really admire people who believe something strongly, like Walmart is an evil place, and then show their belief by not supporting something, like Walmart. I have trouble sometimes when people go on and on about how evil a place is, but still shop there :) Hmmm, maybe this is grist for another post!

Ummmm yeah

2008-09-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

We do have an electric guitar in our house now (but no amp yet hehehe). And a "girl band" in the making. Aunt Debbie took them birthday/school shopping but Ellie had no need for clothes or shoes. All she wanted was an electric guitar.

We spent the weekend in Lawrence. What a fun town. Next time I want to stay at the Eldridge downtown.
You don't need to get anyone else to agree with your truth. You just need to live it.
Alan Cohen

And to follow up on my previous post about kindness. I have been doing acts of kindness but not always feeling all that kind about it. It's a struggle. I appreciate the thoughts shared in comments and would like to continue thinking and talking with folks about it. I find that I usually end up feeling more kind as I carry out the act, but the working up to it is what I find most challenging. You might have guessed I have a certain situation in my life right now drawing on my "kindness" tap. It helps to hear other perspectives so again, thanks!

Question of the day

2008-08-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

(I received one of these bracelets Sunday. Click on the picture to read more about the MLC world bracelet program.)

If you do a kind act, but your heart is not feeling kindness, does it negate the kind act?? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this.

The wonder of the things we take for granted . . .

2008-08-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately of the things I take for granted and don't take time to be thankful for. I came upon this as I was drinking my coffee this morning and it hit home. But there's more. As I said before, being at the heart clinic last week hit me hard as I thought about the daily things I take for granted: my health, my kids health, my ability to breath without even thinking, my heart beating an even, steady rhythm just like it's supposed to without any help, the water coming in through the pipes in my house, lights coming on when I flick a switch. It could go on and on.

A few years ago, before we made our inter-generational home, we had a water leak at our house. Our water had to be shut off for 3 days to avoid more waste and also more huge water bills. It made me realize how for granted I take clean, at-the-ready water in my life. We had somewhere to stay where we could have running water, but it made me think about those who don't have that option. Those locally who have their water shut off and have no where to go stay. Those around the world who have no clean water, let alone running water.

I also have a friend who lost a baby at the end of pregnancy. I know she continues to have days that are hard, and although I know I can't really understand what she's feeling, I suffered early pregnancy loss so feel I can relate somehow. And I remember the realization that pregnancy was one thing I would never again take for granted, although early in my first pregnancy I did.

I guess suffering, hurting, feeling loss or potential loss helps me not take things so for granted. So, I hope today, and every day, I can remember to think about things that I take for granted, to take time to be thankful for those things, and to, hopefully, reach out to someone for whom those things I take for granted might be a struggle.

Good News!

2008-08-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Emma's cardiology appointment was today and after and ekg and an echo, plus checking over by a nurse practitioner and the pediatric cardiologist, they cleared her for all physical activity. The doc said if you pulled ten 14 year olds off the street, 4-5 of them would have a heart murmur and that in itself isn't cause for concern. He said our doctor should listen to it when she goes in for checkups but that's it. Whew. What a relief. I almost cried when he told us. It was very humbling too, because while there we saw a variety of people checking in for appointments; older folks, pregnant women, young children and even babies. It reminded me how blessed we are when our children, and we, are physically (and mentally) healthy and that we should never take it for granted. Good reminders. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers sent our way!

I can't get no . . . no no no

2008-08-15T21:10:00.001-07:00

One day some people came to the master

and asked: How can you be happy

in a world of such impermanence,

where you cannot protect your loved ones

from harm, illness or death?

The master held up a glass and said:

Someone gave me this glass;

It holds my water admirably

and it glistens in the sunlight.

I touch it and it rings!

One day the wind

may blow it off the shelf,or my elbow

may knock it from the table.
I know this glass is already broken,
so I enjoy it -- incredibly.

~Achaan Chah Subato

Wow. I am just ending my evening so frustrated with my kids. The evening went fairly well early on and so they had a "girls night" in our living room while grandma and I watched the olympics in hers. The only rules: no yelling, no fighting, clean up your mess. Well, I had to intervene. Not one, not two, not three, but four times. Then, when I told them it was time to clean up, they started bickering, yelling and slamming doors. I told them to clean up and go straight to bed. Immediately, the two who had been bickering loudly, came and asked if they could please sleep in the same room. Ummmmm, no. This led to begging, crying, pouting, and so on. I could go on, but I won't.

Then I read this poem. Wow. I wasn't enjoying them incredibly at that moment. And it makes me think and wonder if I'm giving them what they need to be happy in their lives. Some days it seems like they are so focused on the brokenness that they can't find a way to enjoy it while it's unbroken. I wonder if I've missed something in mothering them that makes them unable to be really happy. Is it too late? Is it the way I look at life that makes them look at life that way? I think I'm a pretty optomistic, happy person, but maybe to them I'm just over protective and crabby, I don't know. I hope they know how much I love them and how much they mean to me, even when I get frustrated with them, as I was tonight. I pray that I can let them know how much they mean to me and how much I love them and that they will enjoy the glass (and life!)

. . .incredibly.

And then there were two

2008-08-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

. . . IN HIGH SCHOOL. I can't believe I have two in high school this year. Where have the years gone? It feels like I was just taking them for their first days of kindergarten. Wow.

My camera batteries died before I got Emma's photos taken. I did get pictures of here but they are on my mom's camera. Erin didn't have school today as she is an upperclasswoman. She did have to go, though, to drive her sister and her friend plus she is the Editor-in-Chief of the school paper this year and they are putting out a back to school issue that had to be to the printer by 3.

Check out the wrist warmers or whatever you call them. She is quite the accessory girl. And nutty too.

Welcome to Kansas

2008-08-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

The photo I used in my post last Friday was one I took on one of our trips to the El Paso area to visit our inlaws. It was taken at a place called "Dripping Springs". I think it's a state park in southern New Mexico. Anyway, when I was looking at my flickr photos tonight I saw this one that we took on our trip back to Kansas. I liked how it showed each of the girls' personalities. Something about the picture just makes me smile. I mean, imagine, we've been in the car at least 14 hours, and they're still all smiling. And there are no visible bruises from attacking each other! And then looking at more of the photos I saw these.

This is me with a fiber artist we met. She was SO COOL. Her work was actually featured in a fairly recent "Handspun" magazine. We found her place by driving down little gravel roads in a tiny town. My sister-in-law somehow knew about her and led us there. She was just so full of light and love of her family and humanity and God and she welcomed us all to her studio, showed us the natural dying she was doing, introduced us to her husband, one of her eight children, and her angora goats.

This is the building they use as a studio (her husband is a retired school teacher and weaves too). She had a truly amazing story of how she came to be a weaver. She seems to be living the life I dreamed about when I was younger. Living in the foothills of the mountains, creating art, living simply. The yarn in my hands is yarn my sister-in-law bought me. She didn't spin it, but the multi-colored skein was spun from wool from her goats. I haven't made anything from it yet. Sometimes art supplies are such an inspiration to me, even if I never actually use them. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but just looking at things like yarn, glitter, etc. makes me happy.

This side-trip was definitely the highlight of my trip, and I hope to go visit her again next time we make our annual trek southwest.

Update

2008-08-12T04:09:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update, since I'm up at the crack of dawn for a pre-school breakfast/meeting. I am so not a morning person.

We took Emma to a new primary care physician (I am becoming so good at insurance/doctor lingo), not because we were unhappy with our first so much, but unhappy with a clinic policy of not referring outside the clinic for specialists (hence the 2 month wait). Anyway, the new doctor heard the same thing and also recommended a specialist BUT she didn't limit physical activity, didn't use such scary language (although she said it could be that type of heart murmur), and could get us into the pediatric cardiologist in 2 weeks as opposed to 2 months. So, the specialist appt. is a week from today. And Emma can start tennis (1 practice before her appt). I am still a little anxious about her doing much physcially, after our first doc said she should do nothing, but I talked to the coach so I'm ok with it for one day. I hope the cardiologist will give us some info right away. Is that how they do it? Or do you have to wait for things to be "read"? Anyone know?

Ok I'm off.

How fun does this sound?

2008-08-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

Check out this link. I guess if you're not a knitter or don't want to be one, it might not sound very fun, but it sounded kind of magical and amazing to me!

Thoughtful Friday

2008-08-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meaness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whomever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Beloved Persian Poet

And it all comes crashing down

2008-08-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

My computer, that is. It's crashed again :( So we're sharing my mom's computer again. It makes me wonder if we are doing something wrong. Maybe it's just 5 people using one computer and it wears it out?? At least 4 of us now use it with regularity. Anyway, besides that this week has been one crazy week. I started back to school on Monday, we had a loooooooooooooong day of enrollment on Thursday, and Ellie was in the community theatre play "Honk" the last three nights. Also, Erin came home from camp and promptly got sick. Her 16th birthday party is supposed to be Monday and we're hoping she's feeling well by then. It is a party at East Lake and it won't be much fun if she still has a cold. I took her to the immediate care clinic this morning and the doc went ahead and prescribed her amoxicillan (sp?) to treat strep without testing her since Emma was diagnosed with strep last week so she's had direct exposure.

And I can't believe school starts in less than two weeks!!! Amazing.

Photos from the play with my next post . . . gotta get some sent to my mother-in-law before I post them here I think!

Haircuts

2008-07-29T05:45:00.000-07:00

How cute is this? People didn't notice she even got it cut and that ticked her OFF majorly. I wish I were half as photogenic as my kids.

And then there's me. Unfortunatly, it looks just like me :) My haircut is a major change and it feels REALLY REALLY short to me. But it will grow. I like it best at the in-between stage, which I'll be at in about 2 months.
This post is about 2 weeks (or more) old. We've been busy with play practices (and other things). Since I can't say no, I've been making props and helping with costumes(if you go to the play . . I made the big hoop snowflakes, the seaweed and the wind and I helped tie-dye the froglet costumes) for Honk!. If you live in Newton I think it will be a great play for families. I haven't really seen that much of it, but it looks really cute and it has 60-70 cast members, ranging in age from 7-60ish, from the community. Ellie is a froglet.

Hi-ho hi-ho it's off to work I go.

Thoughtful Friday (on Saturday)

2008-07-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comments and the prayers sent our way. I'm feeling a little less freaked out today.

I thought I could change the world. It took me a hundred years to figure out I can't change the world. I can only change Bessie. And honey, that ain't easy either.*

Annie Elizabeth (Bessie) Delany, 1891-1995
African-American Author and Civil Rights Pioneer

*Although I do think we can change the world, and we DO change it every day, in little ways (which ripple out into big ways), I loved the humor in this quote. I think there's some truth too, that we get so worried about changing the world (and everyone else) that we forget about the fact that we have something to do with the big picture too.